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FILM (permalink) 10.28.2000
the next macaulay culkin
when seeing jim carrey and ron howard's latest project How the Grinch Stole Christmas this holiday season make sure to look for Little Cindy Lou-Who. I see her most mornings on my way to work waiting to go to school in that she lives 2 doors down from me. aint nothin' to have celebrity on the block. kudos taylor.

SOCIETY (permalink) 10.21.2000
may i ask who's calling
The government has finally decided how use of cellular telephones while driving is to be regulated. Not surprisingly, the solution proves quite simple. It was determined that if you are a member of society, which requires the use of his or her cell phone, even while behind the wheel of an automobile, it becomes the responsibility of your employer to provide you with a chauffeur, limousine and motorcade. Furthermore, they have concluded that all people possessing this level of import have already been supplied with the fore mentioned items.

Therefore, if you are in violation of this new directive, you are kindly asked to hang up the phone, shut your turn signal off, accelerate when the light actually turns green, get off the damn shoulder and go give that dog a proper burial. The Respect Police thank you in advance for your cooperation.

HUMOR (permalink) 10.19.2000
oh do i love this guy
any of you who read, and enjoyed, my letter to the tivo corporation ought to love this guy. this is a complaint published by the times that was written to some bank. this is great, great humor which i wish i could claim as my own, but as it stands the author is unknown.

FILM (permalink) 10.18.2000
another lost art
ever wonder why something called a 'trailer' comes before the main event? well, once upon a time the feature presentation preceeded the coming attractions. sure it makes sense, but like so many other things being forced down our throat (notice how tv commercials have made their way into our paid movie watching experience) , there they are in the forefront.

the most unfortunate modification to this mini genre has been that the pre-release teaser has become a cliff notes version of the movie. for this reason, on any movie i may hope to see you will find me with plugged ears, looking down and moving my jaw around (helps drown out the noise). i wish the decision makers in this field would stop dumbing everything down and take a crack at something creative and truly tantalizing. i serve up the following efforts as evidence that it is in fact possible:

  Alien (8mb)
  easily one of my favorite trailers ever
  Mission Impossible 2 (1.8mb)
  hard to go wrong with the ska-based theme
  Titus (?mb)
  lots of beautiful footage to work with

WEB (permalink) 10.12.2000
The Gallery is now open
and, you don't even need a tux for this showing. i invite you all to visit the recently completed Gallery section of updates are scheduled to happen monthly and i will strive to have a new photo posted within the first week of every month. that is my commitment to you the viewer.

also, if you think you have a picture worthy of display, please forward it. if used, i promise to include full disclosure of its source as well as any royalties it may generate.

FILM (permalink) 10.07.2000
be Desirous, be Excellent, be Gone
The new arthouse effort The TAO of Steve effectively eradicated the stench that the SKULLS left on my soul. Like any Kevin Smith or Quentin Tarantino film, this flick handles modern conversation with the skill of a Woody Allen restaraunt scene. with a smart eye for dating philosophy this should be a requisite see for any single folk out there. Is it any wonder that a guy named steve suggested i see it. he was absolutely right and i should've known because he is reputed to take care of his kids. thanks brother.

FILM (permalink) 10.05.2000
And the nominee for worst film of 2000 is
The Skulls. Although, if I had the mental strength to see the certain atrocity Coyote Ugly , I may have to re-tally the votes. But this extension of wednesday night television will certainly serve as a hands-down winner. This was one of the most agonizing movies my VCR has had the misfortune of tracking. What in the hell were the producers of this film thinking? After asking where the logically amiss laugh-track was, I'd demand a full and absolute refund. I've seen lesser crimes tried on court tv.

Furthermore, what is with this Joshua Jackson tool. You can at least assimilate why most teen-beat phenoms are on the cover of said rag, but this guy baffles me. I haven't seen so many exagerated bullet-proof, mensa-bound and hyper-sensitive traits on a water-retented adolescent since, well, bruce willis mastered the ludicrous type-cast in each of his films starting with die-hard. At least the Terminator was an android.

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