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SMARTS
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CAST: anthony (9), troy
SETTING:   walking to school
SCENE: walking to school we pass a lawn that looks super amazing. this sight prompted the following conversation.

ANTHONY
their lawn sure looks better than our lawn.

TROY
yeah it does.

ANTHONY
why is that?

TROY
well our lawn is really old and just about all of the grass growing nutrients have been sucked out of it. this means we would have to hire a company to come and spray chemicals, or grass-growing food, on it so our grass could grow big and tall.

ANTHONY
hmm. and why not do that?

TROY
well. there's the chemical part and not everyone is keen on that. and then there is the cost. it would probably be about $80 a month for us to have grass like that.

ANTHONY
hmm.

TROY
maybe one day.

ANTHONY
that would take like four days of mom working to buy us good grass.

TROY
what. why do you say that?

ANTHONY
well, because $80 a month is a thousand dollars a year and it takes mom four days to make that much money.

TROY
how'd you get that?

ANTHONY
well, eight times twelve is 960, so i rounded that up to a thousand, and then mom makes about 250 dollars a day after they pull everything out and she does her savings. so that is how i know it is four of moms work days.

TROY
jeez. you just did all that in your head? that would have taken me like seven minutes to figure all that out. and that would be with pen and paper.

ANTHONY
oh my gosh dad.

TROY
no serious. that's nuts anfer.

ANTHONY
well, there is street smarts, book smarts, and wisdom smarts dad.

TROY
yeah, i guess that's probably right.

ANTHONY
and unfortunately, you don't have any of them.



in our home, such a slam is traditionally followed by, "ohhhh. do you need a doctor for that burn", but this one was so jarring, so complete, anthony, being the only one around, spared me the bonus humiliation. while he was reveling in my dismantling, i was contemplating the fact that one could make a strong argument that, as he suggests, i do not have any of those and he, conversely, somehow scored all of them.



SMARTS
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