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HE'S ONLY FIVE!
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CAST: the 'why the hell wouldn't ya' guy, a woman with four children
SETTING:   wal-mart
SCENE: the WTHWY guy is trying to get down an aisle in wal-mart and is blocked in on one side by this woman and on the other side by one of her four children. he stood waiting, patiently, for about half a minute before the woman saw him.

THE MOTHER OF FOUR (turning and seeing the WTHWY guy)
oh! i'm sorry. we're blocking your way. sorry. johnny move out of the man's way.

THE 'WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YA' GUY
that's ok.

(woman turns to address another child. the boy in the way doesn't listen or move. after another thirty seconds or so, the woman notices the child still standing in the way. the WTHWY guy continues to wait, still patiently.)

THE MOTHER OF FOUR (turning and seeing the child still in the way)
johnny! i told you to get out of the man's way! move!

(the child continues to stand there. the WTHWY guy decides to turn around and go the other way, passing the woman.)

THE 'WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YA' GUY
excuse me.

THE MOTHER OF FOUR (now trying to get out of the way)
i'm sorry about that.

THE 'WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YA' GUY
yeah, whatever.

THE MOTHER OF FOUR (leaning into the WTHWY guy's face)
HEY! HE'S ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD!

THE 'WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YA' GUY (leaning into her face)
BUT YOU'RE NOT!!!

(after getting past her, the WTHWY guy pushed his cart along whistling like ed norton after clearing out his desk in fight club.)



even on a good day, there's only so much patience you can hope to obtain from the why the hell wouldn't ya guy.



HE'S ONLY FIVE!
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