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about ten years ago i worked with a guy who had a urinary-tract infection. for the sake of this telling, let's call him matthew. we were collaborating on a project during his ordeal and in addition to witnessing a lot of fidgeting and quiet curses, i received many vivid descriptions of his ailment.

during one of his many doctor visits he complained that the prescribed medicine wasn't working and his condition, prolonged so, was becoming quite unbearable. the doctor, seemingly unmoved, said in addition to the medicine, he should be masturbating at least once a day. this would help purge the infection from his system. matthew was incredulous, "masturbate! once a day! man, i'm lucky to urinate once a day!" the doctor, still unmoved, said if he was unable to tend to this matter, they could attempt a manual extraction. obviously curious, matthew asked what he meant by 'manual extraction'. the physician explained that stimulating one's prostate could invoke ejaculation. given his dire state, matthew's response was quick and sure; do it.

the doctor now gloved and lubed said "while i'm doing this you may get an erection. this is not unusual, i just don't want you to be surprised". matt explained that his manhood hadn't done anything but whimper and recoil for the last ten days and an erection was certainly not in the cards. two minutes in, matt looks down to see the most impressive arousal he's had since early adolescence. the doctor noticing continued, "ok matthew, i'm going to keep doing this. we are going to attempt to stimulate an ejaculation." matthew, still dubious felt a simple erection is one thing, but making it actually dance when addled so was quite another and he was confident, this was not going to happen. in another two minutes, matthew fire-hosed the room in a fashion and ferocity that hadn't happened, also, since adolescence. the patient had never been more satisfied in a doctor's visit, or a date for that matter, so much so he voluntarily paid double his co-pay before whistling his way out of the office.

after this, matthew did some research into his experience and found that the prostate is considered by some circles to be the 'male holy-grail'. he even found a resort on a tropical isle dedicated to this procedure. it seems they have one guy who is like the grand-master of prostate fondling and sits buddha-like in a grass hut until he is needed at which point he gets up, puts on a government-issue haz-mat suit and then lays down the law. as for more details about this particular hideaway, i ain't sharing. you got to find your own matthew to get the lo-down because when i'm in need of such a cleansing, i don't want any competition for a grass hut on pleasure island.

OCT2006

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