d e t a i l s

i once saw where a guy was working to recollect one moment from each year of his life to see if anything could be discovered by the exercise. not having many original ideas myself i figured i would try it myself. and as per usual i figured what's the point of doing it if i don't share it to the world. so feel free to step into various points in my life, for what it's worth.
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next year
shortly after moving to colorado (and after moving out of the motel we lived in for some time), i made my first friends that i can remember and that weren't related to me. they were brothers. three of them. there were two years between each and the middle one was my age. as it would turn out i would still know these guys, vaguely, upon graduating high school.

we pretty much did what other kids our age did. we fell out of trees, walked up and down an ebola-ridden irrigation ditches and chucked rocks at one another at restricted construction sites. another thing we did quite frequently was play marbles. we'd lay like army men head to head with a small circle formed between us and 'shoot marbles'. some very complex and devout rules governed the game, but the only detail i can specifically recall dealt with the exchange of marbles, children's spoils. these tragically high stakes forced me to carefully select the marbles i would put into play, only picking ones i could bear to part with. and i would secretly pull them from the little snoopy-patched denim carrier my grandmother had made for me.

once, as johnny, the youngest boy, prepared to shoot a marble i chided him for how he held it which was differently than everyone else i'd ever seen play. i commented, negatively, on the point. the oldest brother verbally jumped me.

how do you know he's doing it wrong? he can do it anyway he wants. who says you're doing it the right way? you?

i can hear these words, the voice and even the intonation they were delivered in as if it happened earlier today. it was a learning moment and one i think my parents tried to address multiple times but it just never took. never took that is until i got scolded by a kid two years my senior. i don't have a judgmental moment without eddie siedel's lambasting coming to mind. given his words rattling around in my head, it's a little bit shocking i don't have fewer opinionated moments. perhaps it wasn't the learning moment i like to think it was.

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