marty gave herself to her parenting role the way we all hope we give ourselves to the parenting role. the difference between her and most of us though is she never cut the corners the rest of us did. that is the martyr-factor in marty. but don't get down. her martyrdom didn't began with motherhood, it began in childhood. there are many stories from her parents and siblings about her in youth where she was unlike most kids her age. for example, as kids doing dishes, she would insist on doing them all and doing them right where others may look to dodge and cut corners. back then is when she would first be called marty the martyr, and not always in a flattering tone. that she was born like this is what saves someone like me—the one who has to parent beside her—from getting exasperated and too humbled to try to play. when i'm finding it hard to compete i say to myself that she's broken, but in a good way, but also in a way that can't be competed with. but for any angst or pressure this may have put on me, it's been worth it just to know she is the one on the wall parenting my/our children.