Pack your bags honey, we're moving west!

Tonight I'm writing you from downtown Portland, Oregon. Portland stands as one of the most impressive large cities I've ever visited. They have successfully maintained their historic structures while implementing new endeavors with a style that does not degrade the older. Traffic is non-existent, they have the greenest grass I've ever seen, an ocean to the immediate west and mountains within sight to the east, a bustling downtown after 5pm, a thriving public transit system, and a Ruth's Chris steakhouse. In full, I would define Portland as the most centered city I've seen in a long, long time.

Now one must not lose sight that I call Saint Louis my home. For any who may have never visited the keeper of the gateway arch, allow me to draw an image. John Carpenter elected to film his cult-classic film Escape from New York in St. Lou because no additional work was required to emulate a post-apocalyptic backdrop. Enough said?

look at the brain on jane

my sister-in-law told me a story about a friend of hers who wanted to go out and eat at mcdonalds (addictive agents in the fries and all) but didn't have any jack. so what's a girl to do? make a tuna and salsa sandwich, pretending it's a royal with cheese? i thought not as did this enterprising young lady. her solution involved going to her pantry, pulling a gob of canned goods off the shelf, cleaning off the lids (smart move) and returning them to her local grocery. HmmmmMmmmm! this IS a tasty burger.

what market group are you after?

Last night at blockbuster while waiting to check out, I found myself perusing their 8-slot magazine rack. On the bottom shelf sitting side by side I spied one of the most resounding examples of polar opposites I've ever witnessed. Forget ying and yang, heads or tails, I have the modern diametric icon that is certain to define this new and unsure century ? Mary-Kate and Ashley and Trick Daddy.

I'd like to report

A few days back my car was broken into and stereo stolen. In speaking to the insurance adjuster today he said that the car may possibly have to be considered totaled because of a mar made on the dashboard in that it would be too costly to replace the dash on a ten year old car. Now this has not been confirmed as of yet, but I simply find it amazing that it is even a possibility due to a single and smallish imperfection. Anyone want to buy an almost perfect automobile?

Pout for the camera baby

A few people have asked me about the camera I'm using to take some of my more recent photos (i.e. Isabella). Well, I purchased a new camera about a month ago in anticipation of Rockefeller. After the 1000-photo-a-thon in Italy and the certain national geographic quantities I was about to consume, I decided to go digital.

Being a long-standing manual SLR purist, the decision to go to the dark side was not an easy one but basically came down to three points. For an amateur hack like myself who gets the money shot through basic persistence, the environmental ramifications of my habit are not sleight. Secondly, I am to immediate gratification as Stallone is to testosterone. And, lastly and hopefully most obviously I'm a computer dork. My only advice to any aspiring buyers is do your research and remember that a $100 camera is just that a $100 camera.

Do you know what it's like to slip on blood or brains?

Friend and former colleague chris mcgrath recently made quite a moving addition to his website chronicling war-torn Bosnia. If you ever need an attitude adjustment, chris? site is not a bad place to start. And, it never hurts to be specifically mentioned (on page four at the bottom) to add to the story?s intrigue. I think that may be my first external link. I guess it?s only right that the guy who got me started in the biz be the one to deflower me in this manner. Thanks Christopher.

I?ve been waiting ... for a film like you

I do not understand the general public?s expectation of film. Many people seem to want something familiar, not leaving their room of experience, therefore understandable and by god it better have closure and that closure better make sense. My definition of film has always lived on the other side of the protractor. Take me for a ride, show me something I?ve never seen, challenge my neurons, etc. Magnolia took my passion to heart and then opted to get zany.

In addition to challenging vanilla-viewers plot-wise expectations, magnolia does not conform to the 90 to 120 minute format. It views kind of like bill murray?s groundhog day but groundhog spans an hour and twenty minutes while magnolia eats up a staggering three hours and eight minutes. Difference is one watches like a bad date and the other like a too-long vacation (Yeah, sucks to be you).

After seeing this film I?m still not entirely sure what it?s about or what its purpose was, but I absolutely feel like I?ve realistically viewed lives that I otherwise would not have. It was beautifully acted, dementedly inspired and concisely organized into one fluid work. However, do not misinterpret me, I?m certain most of the free world would absolutely detest cruise and company. And given this, I would refer only a handful of people to its door. As a final note, I?d pay tall money to see a collaboration between magnolia?s P.T. Anderson and the Wachowski brothers, of matrix fame. I think theaters would have to post medical staff at the exits.

Carboni, Victor Carboni

Approximately fifteen years ago I clipped and then pinned a funny article above my desk. Several weeks later, I added a tatseless photo of a friend, then a lift ticket and on and on until I had above my desk a mass of bizarre paraphernalia and eye fodder. To date this loose and mottled collection of chaff curiously and accurately chronicles my life. In eyeing some of the artifacts the other day, I thought it might be jolly to occasionally present this or that from the wall and share the item's history and import. So let's get the ball rolling with the following.

Shortly after moving to Saint Louis I, by chance, obtained the autograph of hockey superstar, Brett Hull. I mean how rare is it to be kicking through the local mall and bumping into a sporting legend. You know what's even more rare? To be kicking through the mall, bump into said sporting legend AND to be with a girl who thinks your name is Victor Carboni. Now given this slight caveat, I was saddled with the decision of getting a partially meaningful signature or come clean, ruining my chances with this young temptress, by revealing my true identity. So what did Victor do? (click here for answer)

You knew it had to happen

Between having a constant in-house photo-op and an out-of-state mother, you hopefully knew that it was just a matter of time before a special section was devoted to the newest member of dearmitt.com, miss isabella. well that time is here and going forward if you are so inclined you may check on bella's progress and kodak moments at the recently erected Rockefeller Center.

I need a bucket in here!

Given my newfound pastime of dodging warm torrents of urine while trying to change a diaper, I thought the following Prolapsed article was rather fitting. Dr. Williams has enabled me to enter this secluded form of trench warfare with a light mind. You don?t know how appreciative I am Steven.

You CAN'T name a girl Rockefeller!

As an update, Rockefeller has been re-dubbed in honor of his herness. The birth certificate shall read Isabella Walter DeArmitt ? or Isabel to Marty and Bella to Troy. So allow me to introduce Isabella as Isabella.