i wish that i could just once get an email from buddy james that didn't make me smile, laugh and hate him for his unending wit and charm. hate the buddy james.

even though there's a gob of movies out i'm jonsin' to see (comedian, bowling for columbine, fat greek wedding, auto focus), i've been drawn into two that weren't on my list. first i went to red dragon with elove b/c he wanted to catch it before it left the theaters. as a rule i dislike remakes of movies i like and i've been a longtime fan of the original manhunter (starring to live and die in la's, william peterson) so was suspect of this treatment. but, red dragon is what a remake is supposed to be about. mix it up. make it different. respect the original. dragon handled all of this quite splendidly. kudos.

the second film i didn't really think i'd catch, in the theater at least, is jackass. bomber convinced me to go with about two hours notice, on a weeknight, with he and King. not having the cable i've seen approximately seven minutes of this show so knew the basic premise but am not a closet fan or anything. and surprisingly to all i tell as well as myself, after all the antics these guys went through, the one that sent me scrambling over people's knees and out of the theater was their bit with intentional paper cuts. aaaahhhhh! my back tenses and cramps uncontrollably even thinking back to it. i couldn't cope. the guy drinking his own urine in the form of a snow cone came close, but could not touch paper cuts in the corners of one's mouth. damn. Damn! DAMN!

and the four guys sitting behind us said "oh man, that boy's trippin'" approximately 46 times.

there's no funk that the release and subsequent acquisition of the Grease DVD can't cure.

man, i thought it would NEVER come out.

and, re-watching this reminds me that i've always parked my car in a different garage than most. in Grease everyone raves about olivia newton john. some even for the trampy stockard channing. but me, i was always a didi conn (frenchie) man, pink hair, lean ambitions and all. give her an overbite and i may have been stalker material.

i recently rented a film called the suburbans. i rented it for the same reason bookguy and i almost rented the straight-to-video triumph 'tart'. it had a beautiful and desirous girl on the very shiny-glossy cover. the starlet in the suburbans is none other than the ultra-fabulous and near-perfect jenifer love hewitt.

five minutes into this flick the grave error in my judgment revealed itself. 20 minutes later it hurt less after seeing HER in a flitty summer dress. a full 47 minutes later my rental paid for itself given a modest but rewarding scene which i do not trust myself to discuss. (drool. slobber. guttural moan. wince. punch face.)

as the credits ran and i was back to feeling low and sad and sorry and a tad lecherous, i swore to never fall to such juvenile frivolity again. part of the therapy included walking the video back to the store (spine down so no one could spy my weakness) and returning it. i rented a replacement video that just happened to catch my eye. the new film, heartbreakers. sure love hewitt is in there and sure i said i wouldn't do this again. but so is sigourney weaver and while she's no jamie lee, i didn't swear off sanity altogether. but whatever, i don't care what y'all think. this looks like a really good and well executed film with high entertainment potential and plenty of cooky zaniness.

[2:07 hours later]

yeah, so i'm back to never doing that again. and i mean it this time. oh. wait just a minute, i didn't know love hewitt was in munchie. i've been meaning to see that. really.

you may have noticed i haven't been around much as of late. you may have also noticed a newish project listed under my professional page, boycott city. you do the math.

BC is a vision i've had for awhile which i'm pretty stoked (nice eh) about and those i have discussed it with seem equally compelled. one such person not only offered to help but immediately returned home and developed the entire, not unsophisticated, backend to this web application (thanks bg). this token of charity obviously placed the burden on my keyboard to produce an interface to front his work. hence, i have been holed up working on this every waking moment as well as plenty of should-not-be-waking moments.

after beginning the work on this site, as always seems the case, the simple vision exploded into a comprehensive labyrinth of pages to be built and challenges to be met. fortunately, my daily life incents me to trudge forth through this quagmire of detail and lost hours. for instance, just tonight i was at my local blockbuster looking for a film and made a horrific discovery. my lovely video store does not deem the highly acclaimed films, birth of a nation or in the heat of the night worthy of their shelves. after being told this and returning to find something else i spied such classic cinematic triumphs as hot club california and the naked cage. yeah, i trust your judgment and discerning eye to mandate what i'm able to watch after you closed every other respectable and intelligent video house in a twenty mile radius. my viewing pleasure is in your capable and caring hands.

so sit tight kids. no one wants to see a tool to voice your displeasure with large corporations and sub-par standards more than myself, and fortunately, a few of my more technically gifted friends. given this BC will be built, and available, unless of course we elect to replace it with something more useful and entertaining to you like a fan site for joshua jackson or yet another unusable portal to nothing, to better convenience you, our customer, because it is ultimately your happiness we care about it and you are the reason we strive towards excellence with every transaction and decision... didn't you read our glossy pr prospectus we sent to your home telling you what a competent and knowing organization we are ... unsolicited for your ease.

it is you we care about.

several, and i mean several, people have told me to see y tu mama tambian (most since mulholland drive by the way). and, i've never heard more disparate reasons surrounding such a plug; it's funny, sexy, moving, interesting, beautiful and riddled with flatulance jokes. suffice it to say that all kinds of glowing descriptors were applied to this subtitled foreign flick by all sorts of glowing people. and, after seeing it last night, i agree. i agree with everyone. and would simply add that this was one of the most authentic and sincere portraits i've seen on any topic, time or place since ang lee's ice storm.

so if you haven't yet seen it, allow me to throw my sombrero into the bull ring and suggest you take a whack at this cinematic piñata. and speaking of whacking ... well perhaps you should just see it for yourself.

every year i watch the oscars and every year i get up from the table pissed off. while some good things happened (finally) i still must somehow digest the fact that  Pearl Horrible left the night with an award and Amelie did not.

i'm sorry but like halle, i can't continue.

I have been asked when I was going to post a retraction about my earlier rip on the lord of the rings movie (11.05.2001) in that I've since admitted to liking it. So I guess I may as well get this second serving of crow, potter being the first, out of the way so I may return to my strict diet of never admitting I'm wrong when it comes to affairs of the cine.

I liked the film, I liked it a lot. My favorite part was the first 15 minutes. My least favorite was the last 15 minutes. Everything in between was well above average and proved to be a very visually entertaining film, which did the book a great or respectful service. In fact, potter and rings are probably two of the better movie adaptations I can remember seeing. Kudos to both teams and for any who haven't yet seen them, go see them. but, don't mess up and see titantic on accident because I'm still championing that boycott and am accepting new recruits even today. Be strong and rent a better movie, like corey feldman's Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever. And, tell them troy sent ya. You and they will not be sorry.

there is a definite buzz on the street about the film Amélie (pronounced like emily but with an 'ah' at the front). the necessary movie equation for this film is beyond my capabilities, call it chaos math. nonetheless, the film rightfully earns its murmer and i would recommend it to any who who go out of their way to be visually, audibly and mentally tantalized by their cinema.

note that this is a far more grounded work than the director's previous City of Lost Children for any who may feel deterred by that minor detail. it's the best of both worlds.

Apollo Creed to Rocky Balboa in Rocky III

while i don't want to be the ever-reliable nay-sayer (because those people suck), i am going to crawl onto a limb here and say that i fear the worst on the lord of the rings trilogy, the first installment at least. i saw some of my first pr in regard to the effort and was surprised to get a glimpse at the fellow who was supposed to be frodo. i may only be halfway through the book, but nowhere in there do i get the impression that he is one of the n'sync boys. what's up with this lanky male version of kate moss playing the lead to this epic. did they snare the costume guy from battlefield earth who magically transformed travolta (terl) from someone who looks like a new york slumlord to someone who looks even more like a new york slumlord. while i'm very much into the minimalist thing, i do believe there is a line. say a prayer for rings.

i heard someone recently talking about how they just saw tombstone and thought it was pretty good. i'm your huckleberry, i'm your huckleberry, i'm your huckleberry, they kept saying. no, you're the pain in my ass that keeps saying i'm your huckleberry. catch up arnie grape and call back when you've at least hit the mid to late 90's.

saw potter and was impressed. it is one of the more respectable movie translations i have seen. while i don't want to say a whole lot about it, i feel compelled to recant my earlier allusion that it was doomed to suck. now let us hope that the lord of the rings shows up with an equal effort.

Excerpt from the 11.04.01 NY Times

This film, unsurprisingly, looks like it doesn't stand a very great chance getting out of the blocks. Originally the work of a single-mom inspired, it is about to be devastated beyond her wildest expectations (which are pretty wild) by those who devised the likes of jar-jar binks. I'm just glad that shakespeare got his words on paper before it had to be co-branded beside a McDonald's happy meal or box of tacos. With that said, don't misunderstand me, this film will most likely do well in the box office, much for the same reason films like pearl harbor and coyote ugly made a dime and titantic ravaged the world. I will not get to into the particulars behind this phenomenon because I'd rather not offend the masses, but those who know what I'm talking about, know what I'm talking about. It just saddens me.

Do you know what today is? Today is the 978th day that I've boycotted the movie Titantic. And, if there was an inkling of weakness in me, Pearl Harbor restored my resolve.

See Rat Race.

I am a believer in film. All film. The slow, the stupendous, the horrendous, the clean, the brash. Simply said, all film. Because, without the tripe there would be no good and without the flawed there would not be the Hitchcockian, etc. etc. etc. This weekend I partook in a film that to the untrained eye may appear to be just another piece of flotsam lining the shelves of our local blockbuster. But, an eye studied in the ways of classic presentation can pluck from the rack an undiscovered morsel that has much to offer despite its minimal fanfare. One such film is none other than Stallone's latest opus, Driven.

While I, or any, could pedantically describe its faults for the duration of the indy 500, few could highlight the positive elements this flick possesses. For instance, the creators of Driven have developed the ability to make a guy, a single guy, sweat profusely through the whole film. While the rest of the cast maintains a cool and dry demeanor, this guy is soaking wet like he's just been taken from another movie set where he was disarming a bomb. No small feat here guys and you just know the das boot boys are quite jealous. Secondly, many, if not all, of Hollywood manufacturers have attempted to meld the flash of action and wispiness of romance with modest success. But, to attempt this even when only equipped with the acting equivalent of a fork/spoon combination from KFC shows true and admirable grit. Lastly, I never, never, never thought it was possible to see a film that made me wish I was watching Days of Thunder. And, that's saying not a little since Days of Thunder made me wish I was front and center for the opening night of Stroker Ace. And never mind the fact that Stroker Ace made me wish I was at the celebrity pre-screening of Six Pack.

Saw Tomb Raider tonight. And I once thought Angelina messed me up in Girl Interrupted. I am a simple, simple man.

I told someone I was going to the show and they actually said to me, "Ah, I wouldn't see it, the reviews are terrible." Really! No kidding! Get out of here! You don't say?!? Of course the reviews are terrible, they are supposed to be terrible. This is yet another film generated for the sole agenda of accumulating money and art created in that vein will always suck. It takes a work like Clerks or Priest to slap you in your junior mint eating face because those guys are making the film for the love of the process, not the collection of teeny boppers allowance trimming here or there and getting gutless everywhere so they can lower the MPAA assigned rating as to dump more seats in their seats. So, go and buy your ticket, order your concessions, sit down and make your mindless faces at the pretty lights on the wall cuz that it was it is there for. It's television you pay for and watch with a bunch of ill-mannered people you do not know. Wake up already and smell the day old popcorn.

movie: swordfish (also credited as the movie where halle berry is topless)

should you see it: (see movie's alternate title)

best part: (see movie's alternate title) & explosions is fun.

worst part: when this 300+ git did a very ill-advised Nestea plunge into the seat in front of me. This scene mesmerized me to the point that I sat wide-eyed, watching him free-fall through the air and roughly crash into his chair. While gazing upon this escapade from my quasi-stadium seated seat I overlooked the possibility that the back of his chair would dip so far in its duress that the top of it would come crashing into my knee-cap, my bad knee mind you, setting me back about 2 months in my rehabilitation. Flying big guys suck.

Tonight Marty and I will be attending the graduation ceremony at the high school she teaches at. Each year at this time we watch as a fresh crop of students jet off for the exciting and frightening unknown that is independence, responsibility and free form decisions. While I am hopeful of the experiences they will enjoy, the selfish lobe in my mind desires them to remain, For me, the therapeutic benefits of my interactions with many of them is marked.

David Lienemann possesses a quiet and refined maturity rarely seen in a person of his age. I regularly marvel at his view and interpretation of the society around us. With gifts in the form of photography, music, business, and human nature, it's more than hard to remember he cannot legally drink. One of my first conversations with him involved this website and he told me it seemed pretty good but that it needed more pictures. I asked if he was suggesting I put up more of my pictures or publish some of his. "Yes", he replied and days later supplied me with a block of photos from a recent trip he had taken. That was many months ago and I have just recently completed the feature and invite you to visit California in Reason to see the work of a future photo great.

Jessica Campbell, known by many as the gay sister in Election and/or the hermaphrodite in Freaks and Geeks, will be departing to hone her skills on the big screen. I don't really know Jessica but regularly saw her at various school functions and events. These encounters always weirded me out given how much I enjoyed and remembered election and freaks. I have spoken with Jessica a few times (Stalker! Stalker!) and she is an intelligent, lovely and spookily centered young woman who is traveling in the first class section of the success concord. She has already filmed her next picture, The Safety of Objects, starring Glenn Close, which should be coming out this summer.

The Amen boys, the departing ones at least, represent my most selfish loss. These gifted acapella entertainers have provided me with more hours of enjoyment than they can conceive. Whether tapping a toe to Elliot's remarkable rendition of the Streets of Philadelphia (philidelphia.mp3 - 4,387kb), slapping a thigh during Roundy's energetic Basketcase (basketcase.mp3 - 4,100kb) or getting dizzy watching the Pennington twins lead the always randy Instanbul (instanbul.mp3 - 3,154kb), these guys will be sorely missed and prove to me that life is in fact not fair given the unreasonable amounts of natural charisma and talent dealt out to each one of these young men.

My social microcosm will certainly feel the loss of these and other students but humans across the country will have the benefits of making their acquaintance. Treat them honestly and well because they make me smile. And for those of you who do not have access to our exceptional youth allow me to confirm that while the bad ones are getting worse (ala columbine), rest assured that the good ones are absolutely getting better.

pearl harbor is superficial, melodramatic and too long -- and that's the good news.
toronto sun

would WWII sailors use a phrase like "you the man!"?
upcomingingmoves.com

call it WWII lite.
palo alto weekly

the dialogue is so unrelentingly banal as to make one reconsider whether...titantic was really all that bad.
kansas city star

I had to take a shower after the film just to get all the damn sap off of me.
michaelcosm reviews

sure, it'll be this year's titantic. funny, 'cause it sinks just the same.
e! online

perhaps they should have called this bore-a, bore-a, bore-a.
washington post

the kind of crap that deserves to be slapped silly.
flick filosopher

Pearl Harbor could be viewed as educational, but only by the same people who were surprised to learn, via Schindler's List, that many Jews died in camps during WWII.
jam showbiz

now i'm done.

Let the lambasting continue.

Pearl Horrible was as much about the historical event it's named after as Leprechaun was to good acting. I'm afraid to launch into a discussion about the insulting nature of this film because I have to be back at work in two days and don't want to be late. But then again, why choose now to start showing up on time.

Historical Accuracy: Had to look at my movie ticket to even remember what the subject was.

Character Development: the show Small Wonder bested this film's finest moment.

Storyline: I kept waiting for Maverick, Goose, Viper and Iceman to round the corner.

Special Effects: Very good but they would have had to dunk you under water and whiz bullets past your head to compensate for all the other flatline areas.

Equation: (((Days of Thunder / 10) + (Independence Day x 2000) + (Halloween x 2)) x 3.14) - ((Saving Private Ryan x 4000) - (JFK / 100) - (Das Boot + (infinitiy))) = Pearl Harbor

Best Moment: When someone in the theater pulled the fire alarm forcing an evacuation.

Worst Moment: That they didn't pull the alarm five minutes into the film, instead of five minutes from the end.

Good Gracious!

I watched Girl Interrupted tonight. I found the movie disturbing on multiple levels. While it is unreasonable to be bombarded with images of Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie running around in slumber wear and being chastised in bathtubs by an afro-sportin' Whoopi it is entirely unreasonable to have them exchanging an adolescent kiss while riding in a VW Vanagon. Come on guys, no hitting in the face.

On a less serious note, this was one of those sequentially disjointed films I know many of you abhor. But, don't sweat it because the networks know your pain given the tv version of the Godfather II where they cut all the interspersed flashbacks and put them in sequential order to ease the wear and tear on their living room audiences. You can't sell ad time if the viewers don't understand the picture show. Conversely though, I think it would be interesting to take a film that was presented normally and muck it all up, turning it into one of these time-challenged pieces. How many whos in whoville could follow Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time if the mall scene came after the sword fight...It was worse than I imagined.

I also wish my first name was Wings.

What has Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Val Kilmer, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson, James Gandolfini, Chris Penn, Tom Sizemore and successfully achieved what Heat could not?

If you answered True Romance, you're not half the slouch one would think given your practice of reading this website. While not for the sleight of heart or those who did not enjoy films such as The Bad Lieutenant or Blood and Concrete: A Love Story this modest work successfully made use of its preverbal who's who of Hollywood's more unique brand of player.