Like anyone else, I maintained a healthy interest in farts, all ten varieties - the silent but deadly, the slow leaks, the hissers, fizzers, poppers, croakers, bangers, cheek-flappers, tail-gunners, and cargo farts, the ones that deliver a load - and this one was in a class all its own. A small dark cloud of a fart such as an alien from outer space might deliver to Earth, necessitating the evacuation of cities.
excerpt from garrison keillor's Lake Wobegon Summer 1956