a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)

1994 ( 26 Years Old )

I stopped into a music store to ask a friend who worked there to help me move. When I walked in, I saw Kurt at his usual post behind the register. After a few pleasantries, I told him of my need and asked if he could help this coming weekend. I said I had very few things, so it would be super quick, and pizza at a popular eatery afterward was on me. He said he would be happy to help. 

Here, he paused from our conversation and looked at a guy standing at the end of the counter. I glanced at the young man, thinking he was going to ask Kurt a question, but he did not. I looked back to Kurt, ready to say goodbye, but Kurt continued staring at this guy. I took it as a sign that Kurt was telling me I should invite this fellow as well, and so I did. The counter-stander brightened at being included and said he’d be happy to help. I said great and told him I would get the details to Kurt. I thanked them both and went on my way. 

On the day of the move, Kurt arrived at my place on perfect time. As he approached I asked him where his friend was.

KURT
What friend?

TROY
That guy at the store.

KURT
Oh. Him. He’s not my friend. He was just a customer.

TROY
What? Wait. Why’d you tell me to invite him?

KURT
I didn’t tell you to invite him.

TROY
You were staring at him. I thought you were telling me to invite him.

KURT
Oh. No. I thought he might have a question.

TROY
Oh my god. Why didn’t you say something?

KURT
About what?

TROY
When I invited him.

KURT
Well, I thought it was very nice of you to include him, since you didn't seem to know him, and assumed you needed the help. I also thought it was very nice of him to agree since he didn’t really know you.

TROY
Didn’t know me! He didn’t even know you! Why’d he agree?

KURT
Don’t know. Guess he’s just a nice and helpful guy.

TROY
Well, I guess it doesn’t matter because you didn’t bring him.

KURT
He’s coming. He just wanted to drive himself.

TROY
Wait. What? He’s coming here? How does he know where to come?

KURT
He stopped by the store the other day to get the address.

TROY
And you gave it to him?

KURT
Well, yeah, sure. I mean you invited him.

Moments after Kurt said that sentence, a green Gremlin, yes, a Gremlin (feel free to google search that storied car if you're not familiar), pulled into the lot. The front and back windows were framed with fuzzy tassels that swayed with the movement of the car. I looked at Kurt and said, “You gotta be shittin’ me, dude.” To which Kurt said, “Ahhh. Look at that. You don’t see one of those every day.”

So the young man, Marc, did come and he was helpful in the move and a nice enough fellow. Afterward, while talking at the crowded pizza parlor I kept hearing a clicking noise. After being interrupted by it several times, I looked around and asked, “What the hell is that noise?” 

The noise immediately began in response to my question, and Marc said, “That noise?” 

Yes, that noise. What is that? 

Marc stuck his tongue out to reveal a large barbell piercing. He’d been clicking it against the back of his front teeth during our conversation. 

Upon seeing this sizable monstrosity, I asked him why the hell would he get something like that and didn't it get in the way of, like, a lot of things. His reply, “Well, it’s not for me. It’s for the ladies.” I looked at Kurt and wore my “you gotta be shitting me, dude” face for the second time that day. 

Then, before lunch ended, Marc said he was applying for a job next week. And mentioning that reminded him of something. It reminded him to ask me if I smoked pot. I said I did not. He then asked if I would mind giving him some clean urine for the test he had to take to get the job.

I looked to Kurt again wearing what is usually a rare expression for me, for the third time that day.