TROY
hello

EVIL PHONE GUY
hello mr deer-mitt, i'm calling to inform you of an exciting new benefit you qualify for.

TROY
ok.

EVIL PHONE GUY
your account with blah credit card offers comprehensive credit protection and is totally free. i'd like to send an information packet out with your next statement.

TROY
no. i don't think so. i'm not interested, but thanks.

EVIL PHONE GUY
but it's totally free.

TROY
yeah. that's nice, but i think i'll pass.

EVIL PHONE GUY (confused)
but, sir, there is absolutely no cost to you.

TROY
it is my experience that anything a company is willing to give me for free is either not worth anything or is not free.

EVIL PHONE GUY
well, this one is. should i drop it in the mail?

TROY
no.

EVIL PHONE GUY
ok, so i'm going to send this with your next statement so you can review it.

TROY
no. i said i don't want it.

EVIL PHONE GUY
that's ok, you'll be able to review it in your next received statement.

TROY
i don't want to review it or anything in my next statement. i don't want you to send me anything.

EVIL PHONE GUY
alright. so i'll just get this in the mail with your next statement.

TROY
no. N. O. do not send me anything. don't even send me a statement. i don't want whatever this is.

EVIL PHONE GUY
ok. that will be fine mr. deer-mitt. just give it a look and let us know what you think.

TROY
no. i'm hangin up now. my answer is no. do not send me anything. do not send me anything.

(i hang up)