ATTENDENT
Registrar's office.

TROY
Yes, I'm calling in to check on the status of an application.

ATTENDENT
Can I please have your social security number

TROY
(I give it to her, and she pecks on a computer for a moment)

ATTENDENT
I'm not finding a record for that number, can I have your last name.

TROY
(I give it to her and she pecks on a computer for a moment more)

ATTENDENT
I'm still not finding a record for that.

TROY
Yeah, I know, that's the problem. I sent in my paperwork several weeks ago and haven't heard anything.

ATTENDENT
What program are you trying to get in?

TROY
Computer Science graduate program.

ATTENDENT
What semester are you looking to start?

TROY
This one.

ATTENDENT
This one! You can't do that, it's too late. It's the fourth week of the semester and registration has been closed. You can no longer sign up for a class.

TROY
But, I'm already in a class.

ATTENDENT
You can't do that. We don't allow audits.

TROY
I am not trying to audit the class. I want to enroll in the class.

ATTENDENT
But registration is closed. You can't register for a class in the fourth week.

TROY
But, I'm not starting now. My paperwork has been in the works since before the semester began. The department and professor advised me to attend the class while the application was being processed.

ATTENDENT
But registration is closed. You can't register for a class in the fourth week.

TROY
I understand that and i imagine that the policy is most likely in place because if someone begins attending a class in the fourth week, they've probably missed too much information to catch up, but I've been attending the class already.

ATTENDENT
But you can't do that, we don't allow audits. You aren't allowed to audit the class.

TROY
But, I have no intention of auditing the class. I'm trying to sign up for the class. I want to give you money. I can give you my credit card number right now.

ATTENDENT
But, registration is closed and you can't enroll at this time.

TROY
Ma'am, this really should be a no brainer. I want to give you $3000. I just need to find out why the application hasn't been processed. I mean I've been taking the class to this point already.

ATTENDENT
I'm sorry but the computer science program does not allow audits.