EMPLOYEE (answering phone)
Main Library, Information Services, how may I help you?

CUSTOMER
Can you look up the definition of "reflexology" for me?

EMPLOYEE
Yes ma'am.

(Looks up info in "Mosby's Medical Dictionary" and reads it to the customer.)

CUSTOMER
I got these magnetic field socks and they helped my arthritis and my burning feet, well, they said it was a circulation problem. I'm so excited about this I'm starting my own business, it's not multilevel marketing. Do you mind if I tell you about it?

EMPLOYEE
Uhh ...

CUSTOMER
Did you know that the United States ranks 44th in health care? Japan is 1st. This is all preventative. With the baby boomers it's moving toward prevention. Do you have a mother or father with arthritis?

EMPLOYEE
Well ... actually ... (mouth open with Homer Simpson-esque drool)

CUSTOMER
This has just changed my life and I want to tell everyone. I just hate to think that someone you love is suffering. Have you ever though about starting your own business?

EMPLOYEE
No.

CUSTOMER
Let me tell you this: imagine 3 fully loaded 747s crashing every day for a year. That's how many people die a year from taking over-the-counter medicine. I know you are busy, I'll let you go, thank you for your help.

EMPLOYEE
You're welcome, thank you for calling.