i took my Computer Programming Theory final earlier this week. a few people have asked about the experience and if i'm all about being a java guru now. sure. why not. i've feigned worse. but, the major flaw here is in the question being asked. it's not always about where we are in the end, but what, if any, memorable moments we incurred along the way. because it is, in the end, these moments that will keep us warm and grinning in our old age. so instead of boasting on the net result of this experience allow me to instead speak to one of the alpha moments over this last academic season.

my professor was a portly fellow, santa claus portly. this is good in an educator. he also oftentimes wore oxford shirts with a thin v-neck sweater on top as an accent piece also fitting the role. this is also good because you want your instructor to look instructorish. every class before lecturing the prof would run through some prepatory steps seemingly to get his game face on. these rituals included checking his silver chalk pencil for chalk, patting his shirt pocket for his red light beam laser, sliding his 64 oz quick trip beverage towards the rear of the desk and lastly, always lastly, hitching up his pants to their rightful place in preparation for the pacing and moving about that was moments from happening. now, i'm sure it goes without saying that it is here, in this final step, where the fun begins.

first, he would carefully fold the sweater up exposing the drooping belt line as well as the lowest buttons of the oxford. this creates a half-shirt kind of look (anyone remember those?) with the sweater. he then digs his thumbs inside his trousers at about 10 and 2, slightly bends his knees, causing a break in his legs, and then stands straight up, pulling sharply on his pants and leaning back with the flow. this process, when complete, could effectively raise his equator anywhere from 5-9 inches, depending on the given starting point, amount of flex in the knees and energy exerted on the upward lift. to conclude the ceremony, the sweater is neatly folded back down concealing the work area and smoothed out to quell any evidence that might point to the event.

i reckon this should not be a completely mesmerizing experience for me, but every time it occurred, i got the guilty feeling that not only was i witnessing some personal act, but that i was front and center for a terribly obscene ablution which was not meant for me. in fact, i would avert my gaze, but my leaning eyes betrayed this intention, acting on their own, committed to not missing a single stroke of this well-practiced and highly appreciated dance. so in answer to your question, i'm now, as can be seen, one java coding fool.