ok, let's say you get picked up by a spaceship or approached on the street by an alien and they ask you what is the difference between men and women. reproductive and physical traits aside, what would you tell them? and let's say you want to keep it brief, given that they're an alien and all and possibly freaking you out a bit. i think a lot of people would jump on the horndog factor. the visceral, do-anything nature of men. or perhaps the power gene or the slob factor or their incessant need for new, young and shiny things.

while any of those work, they are relatively singular in nature. i would shoot for something fresh and more impactful, something that dug into the embarrassingly few layers of the male psyche, something that would concisely reveal the true nature of men in comparison to women. i've actually been thinking on this much longer than i'm comfortable telling you but i've finally concluded my search. the answer is underwear.

how weird is it that men dig womens' underwear as much as they do. clean, soiled, no matter. for men, a pair of delicate delicates is such a _thing_. if obtained it is a prize to be coveted and shown only to those with such backstage passes to their personal life. the appointed owner will touch them softly, smell them (say what you want but you're preaching to the wrong cat here), then fold or rumple them neatly and steal them away into some secret place specially picked out for such valued possessions.

now flip this. can you imagine giving as a present or some affectionate token, a pair of your tighty whitey's or printed boxers to a lady-friend. and forget about the soiled variety. if they're clean you're at the least going to get an "Oh my God!" and should you place a pair of your seasoned, bacon-striped, thin-where-you-scratch-most pair of undershorts in her unsuspecting and outstretched hand you just may get a merciless ass-beating. you may as well reach into the murk of a johnny-on-the-spot and let the sludgy residue slide into the powdered palm of her hand.

i was just thinking that that is what i would tell an alien race is the difference between men and women should they ask me. men like womens' underwear and nobody likes mens.