there used to be this guy in my neighborhood who had this thing for lying. now we've all met people who like to stretch the truth or possibly embellish a tale but this guy truly believed in crumbling all who came before him. when i told him i was from colorado he said he went to the wealthiest school in the whole state. when i said i had a friend into rock climbing he ascended the Himalayas, twice. when i said i had knee surgery he had both legs replaced with bionic ones after a parachute didn't open after he jumped from the space shuttle on reentry. when in truth, he went to a sub-par high school in saint louis county, not only didn't rock-climb but was afraid of heights and contrary to popular belief, bionic legs were years from actually being invented for use on people (rats sure, people no), not to mention nasa still frowns upon people engaging in extreme sports on their space-bound vessels.

he may not have been a rich guy but he sure played one around here. he got married not too long ago and after his still happily deluded bride had her 2 karat diamond appraised, the honeymoon was over. having elected to marry him it's easy to see she's a little on the ego-rich side of the fence and subsequently you can imagine how pissed she was when told that the symbol of her happiness came to a whopping 87 bucks. she asked if that was U.S. dollars before ripping the larynx from the salesman.

shaken, she called a friend of her husband's to get some background data on this better half. the friend had recently written the guy (her husband) off tired of his perpetual lies so was more than willing to give him up. the conversation revealed all kinds of nuggets including that he was previously married which he had not only not revealed but actually denied earlier.

will you tell me her name she asked. he did.

can you tell me her phone number she asked. he did.

so she called wife A, introduced herself using the guys last name, which is unique enough to raise suspicion. wife A simply asked "are you all right?" and that was without hearing anything other than wife B's name.

like i said, his mission was to crumble all who came before him.