if someone were attempting to create the party environment i would be least comfortable in, they would have to design a halloween/karaoke combo party. two things to know: i don't dress up and i sure as hell don't sing in public.

upon entering the threshold of this debacle, the very first thing i see would be a six foot sock monkey singing elvis' blue christmas and dancing in circles in the living room like one of those hopping toy penises used in Pump Up the Volume.

do you know how scary a six foot sock monkey is? do you know that sock monkeys have a horizontal anus that looks like a set of lips? do you know that this sideways nether region is disproportionately large in regard to the rest of the creature? in fact, it is a whopping thirteen inches in length on the six foot rendition of this cotton-tubed primate.

but why is it sideways? if it were oriented the way one would expect, it would only be slightly unnerving, but tip the damn thing on it's side like that and were talking about a vision that consumes the last thoughts to enter your mind's eye before slumber for four straight nights.

on the positive side, at the least i had something to mull over while sitting in the corner while the non-introverted types did their thing.