as life goes on, things happen that we don't expect and that we can't control. all we can do is learn from it all and try to understand ourselves better.

i think a lot about life and relationships these days. reflecting on the way we all relate to one another, i come to this conclusion: please try to see your kids for something more than their pretty faces or their hungry stomachs. please try to see them for something more than their minds or collection of thoughts.

when i look back to the way i was raised, i feel abused and neglected. i feel cheated. my parents gave me everything in this world - money, food, clothing, car, school, kisses and hugs. but they never saw me for that person within it all. i was never seen for what i truly am.

looking back, i don't think i was ever loved. and because of it i don't know how to love today. i'll probably never marry and have kids because of the fear i would do it to them. it's sad.

please do more for them then put clothes on their backs. with whatever time you have in this life, please try to see them as something more. my life has been damaged because my parents didn't have the strength to try - somehow.

please don't do that to your kids. please just try somehow. i'm not trying to tell you to be religious or spiritual or whatever. i'm not. i'm just saying, i lost about 20 years of my life because i was never shown anything else. they just raised me to eat, sleep, drink and defend my property. and expected me to find it all out on my own.

maybe i'm coming closer to my answers, but i lost a lot of time and i shed a lot of blood trying.