the teachers at bella's pre-school send a note home in her backpack every school day. these notes typically share what was done that day or plans for the next day.
earlier this week the note home read ...
recently a child in the school was found to have head lice. lice are passed from head to head, through direct or indirect (hats, towels, car seats, etc.) contact. lice have nothing to do with cleanliness, just exposure. please check you child for the presence of nits. if you think he or she is infected, please treat immediately and let us know so we can track the spread. Please let me know if you have any questions.
if you think anyone in our home was checked before me, you'd be horrifically mistaken. fact of the matter is marty had to pick through my hair while the letter laid at my feet with me repeatedly saying "do you see any? are there any? what is a nit? what do they look like? what do they do? oh my gawd, have you found any!!!!!?"
during my tremble-voiced questions bella stood in front of me, innocently looking up, saying ...
BELLA
dad, they're just like white ants and if we find some then we look for the mother or father and try to get them first so they stop making more babies in your hair.
TROY
white ants! babies! bella please stop talking while mommy checks daddy. and this is different than how mommy checks daddy on saturday mornings but all the same you got to give us a minute. marty are they really like white ants? please tell me they aren't really white ants! marty! have you found anything?
MARTY
just a little bit of dandruff. but i think you're lice-free.
TROY
dandruff! oh great. so instead of live ants i just got a bunch of dead debris living on my head. this is great. i'm going to go take a shower. and no more notes from school! i don't want to know!
BELLA
what's dandruff?
