i confided in marty that i thought i needed to find a book on father-daughter relationships because i've really been struggling with bella the last few months. it occurred to me that my trials could be more about her age than her girl-ness but in thinking through the specifics, i truly feel it's more of a gender problem. after saying she'd keep her eye open for such a book marty told me of an exchange she and bella had earlier that night at bedtime:

MARTY
this was a special day for me because now that we're back home from vacation i got to focus on being you're mom again and i really enjoyed being able to do that today.

(a full minute of silence passes)

BELLA
i have one of your hair barrettes hidden behind my bed.

while bella's response is precious on several levels it also speaks volumes about the sort of challenges i'm facing with her. i mean it's not like she can hide my hair barrette when angry with me so her reactions manifest themselves in less obvious and even less decipherable ways.

i'd like to put this on the record as yet another example of how my sucky hair is ruining my life.