these are the scintillating words i got to say to a strange woman last night. over the phone. while sitting alone in my office. why i got to talk nipples with a lady i've never met is because earlier in the day anthony pulled the spacebar off my laptop's keyboard. that would be my $3,000 laptop's keyboard. most of anthony's life is about nipples so i don't know where he finds the time to break my shit. and while initially i get to say naughty words to some raspy-voiced christmas help at the apple store, i'll next have to say those same naughty words to some pale and skinny apple fanboy at the genius bar when i take my computer in for repair. why couldn't he have taken the shift key? i never use that one.