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FAMILY 2011-03-31
dearmitt & children consulting
i'm starting a new business. it is to help young, conflicted couples decide if they want kids or not. any who have passed that road sign know when logic is used on the question the math never works out in the favor of children. well, if you find yourself contemplating this particular life question, dearmitt and children are here to help. how it works is we give you a consultation. in this visit, you tell us which way you're leaning (or want to lean). in turn, we'll help push you off the fence. how it works specifically is if you want a child we will send alex to your home for a whole day after he has had several nights of good and proper sleep. if you want to be talked out of children, we will send over anthony after he's been deprived sleep and a weeks worth of desserts. i assure you, both children are specialist at what they do and will not disappoint.

although, results on the anthony package are not guaranteed as even at his most irascible he is still terribly cute and says the funniest things (for evidence see yesterday's troyscript or consider the time i asked him to stop playing with the stove knobs and he said, "it's ok dad, if the house burned down then we'd get to build this house all over" like this was a good thing and he was doing the family a favor). also, the fact that you get to send him back at the end of the day coupled with the confidence you'll have that your child couldn't possibly cause that much mayhem in a single day has proven to be a limiting factor. we've discussed extended the visit period but our insurance provider has threatened to terminate our coverage should we allow that.

and, if you're wondering where bella falls into this equation, she works for another division of the company. she is in the projects division and we send her out for customers who are stuck trying to make decisions getting something done. for her work, people explain their vision to bella and she takes the reins. although, there is a minor reasonable absolute risk here that your home add-on may include a horse stable, animal hospital and/or shelter for the indigent.
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