a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)
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a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)
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The Naked Truth About Skin by Steve Williams (column Prolapsed) as published in the Maneater (University of Missouri student paper) July 23, 1997 
In order to enlighten "Prolapsed" readers everywhere, I would like to offer a bit of medical trivia to dazzle your friends and belittle your enemies: Name the largest organ in the human body. In my younger days as a sexually insecure adolescent male, I probably would've given a much different answer. Well, I have matured since last year, however, and I am now comfortable in declaring the skin is, in fact, the largest and the heaviest of all organs.
Accounting for about 16 percent of the total body weight, it is truly remarkable that most people often overlook this simple fact about skin. Our neglect and disregard for this wondrous organ is not merely "skin deep," however. Through tanning, tattooing and body piercing, we repeatedly damage and punish our skin. All the while, our skin nurtures us and demonstrates an unconditional love only a majestic organ system could. It is, therefore, out of deep admiration and respect I dedicate this column to the mother of all organs, the skin. We first begin to appreciate our skin as children. At a very early age we are taught its location and identity. Most toddlers will proudly and confidently point to their skin in response to a command to do so. During childhood, we additionally become aware of the various important properties of skin. For one, skin forms a tight barrier that prevents us from dehydrating our total body fluids. This allows kids to produce enough urine that can be sufficiently emptied into their pants. Similarly, skin protects us from various hostile things in the environment, such as cooties. As the threat of cooties dissipates with age, the protective guardianship of skin does not. Skin continues to exert its barrier function, thus preventing bacteria and other harmful substances from entering the body. Of particular note is the protection skin provides against the harmful ultraviolet rays of sunlight. This defense is primarily afforded by the pigment melanin. Melanin is a brownish pigment produced by specialized cells called melanocytes. Although the content of melanin may differ, persons of all races exhibit the same quantity of melanocytes. Therefore, the only difference between Mike Tyson and myself is a few ounces of melanin. (Of course, when I'm losing a fight and I bite off a piece of my opponents ear, I typically swallow it.) The melanin produced by the melanocytes is stored in the outer layer of the skin, known as the epidermis. When skin is exposed to the ultraviolet rays of sunlight, the pre-existent melanin begins to darken while the melanocytes are stimulated to produce even more melanin. Ultimately, the skin takes on a darker (tanned) appearance. Despite melanin's protection, however, repeated solarization of the skin can damage the cells of the epidermis. Damaged cells may eventually become cancerous. In fact, the risk of all forms of skin cancer is increased with repeated exposure to sunlight. It is important to note, however, that I am not urging anyone who regularly sunbathes to quit. Who knows? Maybe in 10 years, instead of tanned legs, skin tumors will be sexually attractive. In addition to its protective qualities, skin also plays an important role in heat regulation. By sensing its surrounding environment, the skin makes various adjustments that ultimately maintain a steady body temperature of 98.6 degrees. For instance, in hotter weather blood flow to the skin is increased in order to release heat. Additionally, the release of sweat from numerous glands within the skin further functions to cool off the body. In the absence of adequate cooling, we would likely pant like dogs to release heat. Continued elevations in body temperature may eventually trigger a delirious state of mind characterized by licking oneself and indescriminate butt-sniffing. Maybe this is how the phrase "Dog Days of Summer" originated. I hope that now you can better appreciate the wondrous magnificence of skin. With pride, I recommend displaying your skin as a gesture of gratitude. Join the ranks of Madonna, Dennis Rodman, and President Clinton, who have been known to show their organs to numerous people. Instead of wearing a Co-Ed Naked Something T-Shirt, flaunt your body's biggest organ and just "Go Naked." |
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