a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)
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a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)
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1996 Turkey Tournament Participants
Team Profiles |
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| Pimp Slap Inc. | Chinese Money | |||||
| Team Captain: | Brian "Bomber" Dorsey | Team Captain: | Miguel Figueras | |||
| Goal Keeper: | Greg Beekman | Goal Keeper: | Miguel Figueras | |||
| Field Players: |
Brian "Bomber" Dorsey Matt Orso Tony Thomas |
Field Players: |
Aaron Fields Jose Landolt Figueras Jim Orso |
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| Captain's Report: | With two returning members of '95's champion 3-Man Weave, B. Dorsey and G. Beekman, rising star M. Orso, and scientific genius T. Thomas, Pimp Slap, Inc. looks to tangle a lot of twine on the way to the championship of this year's Tourney. Now where my money at!?! | Captain's Report: | This year's goal is to be playing in the championship game. We're not a very big team, but we love to counter-attack & run the floor. As opposed to other teams, who's best defense is a strong offense, we consider ourselves primarily a defensive team who looks to capitalize on turnovers and short offensive spurts. Also, I can't wait to see Isaiah knock Brian Dorsey upside his grill and knock him on his ass. |
| www.DutyFreeJesus.com | Team Fish | |||||
| Team Captain: | Matt "Scarecrow" Nichols | Team Captain: | Erik "Skip" Rogers | |||
| Goal Keeper: | Matt Nichols | Goal Keeper: | "The Tree" Kevin McLauhglin | |||
| Field Players: |
Mike "King" Dorsey Troy "Doorstep" DeArmitt |
Field Players: |
Erik "Skip" Rogers Seth Frederiksen Timmy Green |
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| Captain's Report: | With both "Doorstep" and "The King of Positioning" on my side, I feel very confident with the roster I was able to draft for this year's Tournament. I got two guys who really know the game and have a feeling for being in the right place at the right time. I'm hoping to be able to distribute the ball well enough to give these guys their chances to work their magic. Plus, we got the Lord AND the Internet on our side. Anything other than an appearance in the finals would be a disappointment.com. | Captain's Report: | We're really looking forward to this year's Turkey Tournament. We have three rookies with athletic promise and athletic know-how. We're looking to turn natural ability into a finely tuned Land Polo team. I'm personally really happy to again play an active part in this year's USLPA Tournament since recovering from my year long injury. |
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Columbian National Team (Team Turmoil) |
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| Team Captain: | Frank "Hank" Mulgravy | |||||
| Goal Keeper | Frank "Hank" Mulgravy | |||||
| Field Players: |
Kurt Kaiser Vince "Knuckles" Hughes Isaiah "Ike" DeLorenzo |
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| Captain's Report: | We are a team blessed with an enormous amount of individual talent. We do not lack any raw ability to play the game of Land Polo. What we are missing is a strong sense of "team cohesiveness." Still looking for that common team goal to bond us, we often have problems working together as a unit. Do not underestimate our abilities, however, as we can strike fiercely and often at any given time. |
| Player Profiles | ||||
| Greg Beekman | |||
| Age: | 25 | ||
| Height | 6' 4 1/2" | ||
| Weight: | 210 lbs (20 stones) | ||
| Position: | Goalkeeper (with ability to play forward) | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Muck and Grind | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | approx 8 years | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Winning last year's Turkey Tournament and being named to the All-Tourney team. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Kneeing Rick Rogers in the jaw and debilitating him from playing the sax the next night at the Red Sea. | ||
| top |
| Troy "Doorstep" DeArmitt | |||
| Age: | 27 | ||
| Height | 5' 7" | ||
| Weight: | 140 lbs | ||
| Position: | Forward | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | That of a West Coast finesse player | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 1 year | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Having Matt Nichols place a hand on my shoulder and tell me what a strong game I played. I shuddered. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Having Matt Nichols place a hand on my shoulder and tell me what a pathetic game I played. I whimpered. | ||
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| Brian "Bomber" Dorsey | |||
| Age: | 24 | ||
| Height | 6' 5" | ||
| Weight: | 210 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Power Forward | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Shoot first, shoot second. Capitalize on turnovers. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 6 years | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Winning 1995 Ice Bowl Tournament. Named to All-Tournament team. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | When Dylan's wife was murdered by her own crime boss father. | ||
| top |
| Mike "King of Positioning" Dorsey | |||
| Age: | 269 Months | ||
| Height | 6' 5" | ||
| Weight: | 210 lbs. | ||
| Position: | King of... | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Enforcer | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 3 years | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Participating in the Mud Bowl of 1993, snow-blowing the Wash U Quad for the Ice Bowl of 1995. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | I only have fond memories with regards to Land Polo. | ||
| top |
| Aaron Fields | |||
| Age: | 23 | ||
| Height | 6' 1" | ||
| Weight: | 195 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Forward/Defender (anything but goalie) | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Gas, grass or ass...No one scores free. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 1 year | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Being named the Rookie of the year in '95. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | The seven days following the Turkey '95 when I couldn't walk. | ||
| top |
| Jose Landolt Figueras | |||
| Age: | 18 | ||
| Height | 5' 9" | ||
| Weight: | 157 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Left field: keeper | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Favorite plays include Dangerous Grandpa and Flying Elvis (Utah Chapter) | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 4 - 5 years | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Playing with King and Miguel at Flynn Park along with other players. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | When I was never allowed to use Fat Bat staff. | ||
| top |
| Miguel Figueras | |||
| Age: | 26 | ||
| Height | 5' 9" | ||
| Weight: | 170 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Goalkeeper | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Defensive | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 10 Years | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Jason Tom as the Original Horowitz. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | When TKEman broke Skip's face; when Frank Hogrebe and I were involved in the Behl/Kaletta disallowed goal incident during the 1991 tournament. | ||
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| Seth Frederikson | |||
| Age: | 117 (17) | ||
| Height | 6' 11" (5' 10") | ||
| Weight: | 250 lbs. (175 lbs.) | ||
| Position: | Left Out | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Quick yet slow, plays better with a blindfold | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 25 years Australian National Team (none) | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | After my team won the European Cup the opposing team's cheerleaders took me to their hotel and...(never mind). | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | The day after the cheerleaders. | ||
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| Timmy Green | |||
| Age: | 32 | ||
| Height | 5' 11" | ||
| Weight: | 200 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Defense/Offense/Goalkeeper | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Free-style, free-for-all, born-free, freedom-jam, free free set them free | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | Rookie | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | When King told me that my long lost friend Skip had drafted me. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | When I lodged the land polo staff in my groin. | ||
| top |
| Vince "Knuckles" Hughes | |||
| Age: | 24 | ||
| Height | 5' 10 3/4" | ||
| Weight: | 151 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Field player | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Backroom style of play, oriented to the assist, lightning speed, willing to take two for the team. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 3 years: Columbia league | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | There is no fondness in this sport - what is this? - the ice capades?! | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | It was a cold, windy day...my team was facing a triple header - and subsequently lost all three games. | ||
| top |
| Kurt Kaiser | |||
| Age: | 28 | ||
| Height | 5' 9" | ||
| Weight: | 160 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Field Player | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | "Money" from outside; deceptive speed; dependable in "the clutch." | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 2 years: Columbia league | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | They're all fond. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | The morning after. | ||
| top |
| Kevin McLaughlin | |||
| Age: | 26 | ||
| Height | 6' 6" | ||
| Weight: | 275 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Unknown | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Quick bursts of tremendous speed followed by extended periods of inactivity. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | None | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | The fact that I did not participate in last year's Ice Bowl. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | The fact that I did not participate in last year's Ice Bowl. | ||
| top |
| Frank "Hank" Mulgravy | |||
| Age: | 26 | ||
| Height | 5' 8" | ||
| Weight: | 160 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Star | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Good hands: pesky in the corners; has a nose for the net. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 6 - 7 years professional; introduced game to Columbia, Mo. | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Jose! | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Jose! | ||
| top |
| Matt "Scarecrow" Nichols | |||
| Age: | 53 | ||
| Height | 6' 10" | ||
| Weight: | 260 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Goalkeeper | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | I play "Scatterbrained" Polo | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 7 years, 4 hours, 37 minutes | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Getting to witness Eric Burdge, in his first Turkey Tournament, win the rookie of the year award. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Swamp Daddy "hanging up" his Star Force helmet. | ||
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| Jim Orso | |||
| Age: | 19 | ||
| Height | 6' 0" | ||
| Weight: | 150 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Cornerback | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Offense-oriented, with recently developed hit-and-run tactics. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 1.5 tournaments | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Skip's team knocking Jose around. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Vomiting, sitting on the sideline. | ||
| top |
| Matt Orso | |||
| Age: | 18 | ||
| Height | 6' 0" | ||
| Weight: | 180 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Utility | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Trained under the close supervision of Helmet to imitate his staff-handling and unique perspective of the sport. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 2 tournaments | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Jim Orso vomiting, sitting on the sideline. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Helmet's intimidating field presence. | ||
| top |
| Erik "Skip" Rogers | |||
| Age: | 25 | ||
| Height | 6' 1" (neck: 15 1/2", waist: 33", inseam: 32", arm length: 35") | ||
| Weight: | 180 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Offensive powerhouse in the style of Michigan's Tractor | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | The whole package. Most notable is the dominating skills on offense. To coin a phrase describing Skip by the honorable Swamp Daddy, "Skip is what we call Tall Rug!" | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | co-founder | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | The championship victories of Nichols-n'-Skip. There have been no better. Also the first punch ball instituted by Swamp. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Taking a knee to the mouth from the always intense Beekman. | ||
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| Isaiah "Ike" DeLorenzo | |||
| Age: | 25 | ||
| Height | 6' 2" | ||
| Weight: | 185 lbs. | ||
| Position: | Field player | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Has the ability to break any game wide open. Head games and maintaining focus are his biggest downfall, but do not underestimate his naturally explosive abilities. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | Undisclosed at time of printing. | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Imitating Mark Eaton after scoring. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Being kissed by Father Doody after scoring. | ||
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| Tony Thomas | |||
| Age: | 35 | ||
| Height | 2 m | ||
| Weight: | 745 Newton's | ||
| Position: | Field | ||
| Distinguishable Style of Play: | Uses laptop computer to calculate the magnitude and direction of applied force and trajectory. | ||
| Land Polo Experience: | 20 years professional in Borneo | ||
| Fondest Land Polo Memory: | Hitting Miguel Figueras with ball in back of head and having it go in goal. | ||
| Worst Land Polo Memory | Getting hit with ball in the head and having it go in goal. Shot by Miguel. | ||
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