the 2004 everyman photos have been released.

on the last day of everyman submissions i received over 150 emails between my mailboxes. over the next three days my 'you've got mail' wave file sounded off just three times.

concerned that something had gone south with my mail or isp i emailed dear friend bookguy asking him to send a message to a couple of my mail accounts. he hooked me up but took liberties in doing so. his message read: bookguy, i have a second favor to ask of you; please give the juju gods my regards when they stop by.

to say i have a few things on my plate this month would be like saying my high school chum big dog was just kinda mean to people he dealt with at drive-through windows.

if you don't know big dog you'll just have to take my word for it when i tell you he has, without question, consumed more human dna through fast food products than any other person ever has or ever will. while the thought of this may horrify you, it should not. what should wake you in the night though is the comfort-level he had in knowing he was consuming just about anything the 16 year-old working that night could eject, pull or scrape from his body and then conceal within big dog's order. forever stamped in my brain is a vision of big dog in the driver's seat of a car working on a too-large bite of burger while shrugging his shoulders at me.

but, back to me. in october, i'm trying to build two complete web sites AS WELL AS preparing for the everyman unveiling. now this is not to say i won't post, it's just to say what i do post my be less coherent than usual. and for the dozen or so people who don't think my writing is understandable to begin with, sadly, you're just extra-screwed this month.

but before giving up on me completely, let me share an odd detail about myself. did you ever see the episode of WKRP in Cincinnati where dr fever and venus had to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol for a state trooper? the police official was attempting to demonstrate the ill effects liquor had on the human mind and more importantly, human response time. in the show, the more johnny fever drank, the quicker he'd become, leaving the trooper quite dour. this is how i am with sleep. the less i get the better i perform which leaves my wife quite dour because she is very much not like this. although i guess my deal is the opposite of the johnny fever example because the more he had the better he got so it's kind of backwards because for me it's the less i get the better i become, but you get the meaning.

ok. i just reread this post and i may be wrong about this whole improving while fatigued thing.

but, as i always tell my children, lucidity is overrated.

       

only one more week to get your entries into the everyman.

a new question (and answer) was added to the frequently asked questions page of the everyman site. this is the sort of patronage the everyman attracts. it don't get a whole lot better than this.

note the third question.

and speaking of the everyman, this year's deadline is closer than you think. the beginning of august represents the two months left mark. so if you've been thinking about it, start thinking faster. i'm over 600 photos so far and sadly the FROM THE ATTIC category is way lighter than i thought it would have been. it's a wide open affair.

       

so yesterday's quote was danish.

yesterday's quote is also thought to say: if you like taking pictures, in your free time, your ought to check out this american web page.

i guess i was hoping for something a little sexier than that. not sure why. it's just that a string of characters that funky look like they'd have a little bit more going on. oh well.

thanks to k jacobsen for her voluntary translation services.

if anyone speaks whatever language the below snippet is, i'd love to know what it says because i'm led to believe it is about the everyman photo contest. thanks in advance for your linguistic skills.

well, go get em' already.

if it's true that a picture is worth a thousand words, then i have no worldly idea why you'd be here instead of here.

busy, busy, busy with the everyman. the 1200 plus photos will be unveiled on monday so clear a little time in your daily grind to swing by and see the humor.

and, please sleep a little for me this weekend.

one of my earliest friends was a boy named chris andrews. chris was an incredibly quiet kid. on a true and non-artificial level, so was i and hence our early bond. kids weren't necessarily cruel to chris, they just weren't anything to him. my memories of him are, like the boy, quiet. but, i succinctly remember being drawn to his silent charisma. his most fetching talent was an ability to draw. even in elementary his skill at this was savant-like. as the years passed and chris became more unique compared to his peers we drifted but i always held a private admiration of him.

a few years back i saw him at my high school reunion. the two things most striking about him were his distinct presence and a palpable confidence. but just like when we were kids, it was a silent bravado. no speaking, no posturing just calm ease. this was especially drastic given all the loud and drunken showboating happening between the other ex-classmates in the crowd.

i spoke to him very much hoping his soft manner wasn't preventing him from making a way in the adult world. a few minutes in he recounted how he had just returned from a science expedition to borneo where he charted some previously unexplored caves in attempt to save it from ruin by the local government. six months later i see my man in national geographic.

the other day i sent him an email about the everyman thinking that a well-traveled fellow like himself might have a candidate or two. true to my recollection of him, his voluntary description of one of his photos was leagues better than the actual photo, and the photo is quite good. and, while it may be in poor taste for me to post, the guts of his email are simply too rousing to not share. he admittedly wished he could send more but he was off the next day on a desert trip to new mexico for a cave survey.

this is the last week to enter the everyman. sunday is the deadline. so if you're planning on submitting a pic and haven't yet, you may want to think about getting it together.

that's all.

i haven't been pestering you all on this, or much else for that matter, but so no one sleeps through it, i feel compelled to give you a heads up that the everyman photo contest deadline is zooming forth. sunday. october 19. midnight. central standard time.

and, this year is going to look a little different. in the first year, there were a total of 40 photos all entered by people who have eaten dinner at my house. last year there were 80 photos entered and the majority of them were a friend or a friend of a friend. to date, i have a few hundred people submitting many hundreds of photos from dozens of nations, and none of them have ever even heard of me. and allow me to repeat that those figures are 'to date' meaning we still got a few weeks left. and if the last few years are in any way indicative of what's to come (meaning getting a whole bunch of last minute submissions in the waning hours) i'm super-screwed and will need to cancel my subscription to the spice channel because i'm going to be entirely engaged trying to turn all of these photos around.

and, it just occurred to me that i'm only speaking of the items i've received in my email and that i've totally forgotten the stack of fifty plus envelopes sitting on top of my scanner that i've received to my PO Box and are waiting to be scanned.

major suck.

it appears i may have to also nix my charity work at the Coping with Your Circumcision Center.

i figure i ask everyone to make themselves vulnerable and submit to and compete in the everyman, yet i've never put any of my stuff up for like judgment. so i decided to enter my first photo contest. the maiden test, my community's 35th annual amateur competition.

the awards ceremony happened saturday and in my category (local city theme) i won second place. oh, and i also won first place. my reaction, blown away. my prizes, a couple a hundred bucks in loot and the possibility of one (or more) of my photos appearing in next year's city calendar, which is somewhat cooler than the jack itself.

as for my confidence level, you can possibly intuit something since i didn't mention this before the judging took place. but, the real question is, would i have said anything had i not placed.

if you're curious about the pictures, this is what took first and this is what took second. i know i kinda cheated by using bella in the second place photo. the judges stood no kinda chance denying that little beauty anything. the only shock is that it didn't place higher than the other one.

and, not that i went there looking for this, but i did hear a few grumblings in the room about the selected photos. while i'm sure they weren't talking about my entries, it was an odd relief to see that the everyman is not the only contest that gets beat up when all is said and done.

it wouldn't be accurate to say that with last year's everyman i got caught with my pants down. it was more like they were across the room and i wasn't wearing any underwear. not this year though. the 2003 everyman contest is up and baked a full 8 months before the deadline.

there have been some significant changes to many facets of the contest. whole new dedicated site, modified entry requirements and an increased stick yet again for subsequent entries.

i welcome you to swing by and see what's what at www.theEveryman.com.

and any pictures of a bottomless me dashing across the room towards my tired Levi's will not be well received.

friday i had a to present an intranet design to my groups' primary client. all went well but the two-hour affair left me a touch on the spent side. so i left work a little early as to get a small nap in before the girls got home, only upon arriving home i found that my dsl provider severed my internet connection a full 10 days before they were supposed to as part of an 'upgrade' they are mandating on all customers.

16 hours later i was able to raise a web page again. i then went to check my mail only to find it equally disabled. i called them next. it would seem some moron was trying to send me a 260mb email. after further investigation it was discovered that that moron was me. at the end of every month i have my monthly logfile detailing this site's web activity emailed to me. this file is usually around 15mb, but after being linked to by jason kottke, metafilter, usa today and a south dakota 10 o'clock news show, this single text file came in at 260mb, which in itself exceeds my full web space allocation. and this does not even account for the rest of my site. ultimately this single large-ass item was rendering my mail file completely impotent. after 8 calls to my host, 6 attempts to kill the individual message, and three full deletions of my mail file, i can again receive mail.

the bad news is anyone who sent me any mail between friday afternoon and sunday evening will have to resend it should they want me to see it. the worse news is because of that mail fiasco which turned my 30mb mail file into a 1.5gb frankenstein, i have 25 days to get a 1.8gb daily space average down to under 250mb or else my usual $25.00 hosting fee will more resemble a meager $1800. and, i hope it goes without saying that the everyman prizes next year may suck worse than this weekend if i don't get that squared away on the quick.

and, i have a favor to ask of someone. if i prove unable to reduce this billing amount, i need someone to tell marty for me. someone who is big and strong and can run like the wind. a lesser man may not survive the deed.

not only am i baltimore-bound to serve as best man to the doctor of diss, but earlier this week i was asked to do the same for bookpimp in his upcoming knot-tieing-fest later this decade.

question: how many people think they could dress me up, stand me on a perch in front of hundreds of people, hand me a microphone and hope for the best? if you answered two, you would be correct.

another question: should these guys be concerned of what might get said on their behalf? only if the terms severed foreskin, private place, first time and drifting methane swill cause you, your family and/or closest friends any sort of discomfiture.

i'm sure all will go swimmingly.

i'm sure all will go memorably at the least.

UPDATE 3: we may have 2 more slots filled on the taos ski bonanza.

UPDATE 4: now i know this will be the second time i've talked about it after saying i would no longer talk about it, but the everyman made usa today's top sites.

anyone want to go skiing next month? the lodging is on me.

i'm serious. if you can get to taos, new mexico and i know you or you can confirm you will not be anal-raping any of the other flat-mates, you're welcome to share in this late february boondoggle.

again, i'm serious. i've got room for 6 more. i'm counting bookguy as two because i've traveled with him before and his digestive tract requires a single bed of its own.

viable candidates may contact me directly to discuss specifics.

UPDATE 1: okay. two spots are tentatively taken. i say tentative because one guy needs to get a wave from his parole officer and the other needs to get a wave from the free clinic. i'd mention chlymidia but i don't know that i'm sure how to spell chlamydia.

UPDATE 2: and i know i said i was done with the everyman, but yesterday this happened which caused 3,700 hits from yahoo. to recap that is 1154, 2054, 3700. anybody got any loose jack around to help me with an excessive bandwidth charge from my web host.

this website usually gets anywhere from 40-65 hits a day. since announcing the latest winners my numbers jumped a little bit from people anxious to see the submitted photos as well as the winners. this was also aided by a couple of generous mentions from some more storied of the web gods. friday i was thinking the 1154 hits were something to coo about until i looked at yesterday's numbers which reached a staggering 2054 hits.

here's what one of the discussion boards had to say.

Channel your inner Ansel Adams.
Going off of the theory that everyone has at least one great photo in them (as opposed to professional photographers, who should have hundreds), missiouri webizen & amateur photographer Troy DeArmitt has hosted (for the past two years) an annual web based photo contest open to other amateurs only, sponsored out of his own wallet. If the results of this year's contest are any indication, he's right, there are some beautiful photos here.

this commentary was kindly posted here (expired link) by persons unknown.

and, for any people tired of hearing me blather on and on about this subject, i'm done now. i'll let you know when the next one gets fired up, but i'm baked on this one.

first things first. i have no worldly idea what i'm doing. some of you have thought this. others have assured me they were certain of this. i concede. i'm clueless. for those there at the inception of the everyman, you know it began as a way for me to collect art to hang in my home. it was a brilliant notion and worked swimmingly with one exception; a winner had to be named. we've now done this twice and twice there have been all sorts of unhappy people at the conclusion. while i feel for you, i have polled enough parties to know, i can't help you here. no matter what photos are picked, no matter who judges or how many judges there are, there are going to be unsatiated souls at the end of the day. i've embraced this. should you be one of these ill-contented people, you should embrace this as well. and the guy who posted the boycott on the everyman should really embrace this. and believe me when i say i know how you feel because i feel the same way every time i watch america's funniest home videos and sit dumbfounded at the clips selected to move to the next round. it's shameful.

here's the deal. if you want to see a photo contest that puts your favorite photo in the number one slot, you need to first have a contest and secondly you need to be the only judge. i know this because my number one pick from this year's contest didn't even place in the top three. so there's that. but this is not to say that we can't make things better. i've already committed to doing it again and plan on getting the details of next (this) year's contest worked out while this one is still fresh in my mind. what i'd like to do is tell you what i'm thinking and i'd very much like to get opinions and suggestions on how you think it could yet be improved.

next year, i will introduce categories. they will be:
1. black and white
2. landscape/nature
3. people/portrait
4. travel/architecture
5. macro/abstract
this was a logical next step and this year certainly had enough quality-based diversity to fuel such a paradigm. i feel pretty good about this, but am willing to massage it should someone have a viable modification.

areas where i am still uncertain include:
Prizes:
i have decided to up the total pay outs to $500. assuming this, do i give the first place winner in each category $100 and nothing to 2nd and 3rd or do i break it down $50, $30, $20 respectively?

judging:
now recall my earlier note about the selection process. with this in mind, what do you think might be the most equitable approach.
1. a panel of judges
2. let the contributing artists judge
3. or, judge it all by my lonesome
(as for the let anyone and everyone judge, i'm not up to this task. the technology behind trying to keep a handle on that requires more effort and time than i'm able to commit, so it is not an option. i don't want people screaming ballot-stuffing on me. i ain't florida.)

beyond, that i'm reasonably open and welcome your suggestions/opinions. in case it needs to be said, i'm not making any promises to do what you forward. i'm just trying to get smarter about the process and would love feedback from the people who may have experience or insights into the matter.

and by the way, congratulations to this year's winners. and thank you (again) to all who participated. regardless of any coffee room mumblings out there, it was all good.

i believe this is what you're looking for.