Marty recounted a story from when she was twelve to Tony and I. She went to a lake house with a cousin of hers. While there she and her cousin, who was also a super-cute girl, ran into some boys also visiting the area. One of the boys became very interested in Marty. In the retelling of the story Marty said the boys first and last name, a name she has remembered all of these years given the awkwar...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Spelling-Challenged

For a few reasons, my 5-part essay on aging, which was scheduled to be shared this week, is not finished. Apologies. This doesn’t mean there will be no new content this week, just not the content I originally said there would be. Instead of the essay, this will be just another week of standard posts.

As punishment, let me share this not-too-flattering-for-troy troyscript I’ve been sitting on for awhile now.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. take your best shot

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Mystery Solved

Marta declared it the best summer ever. It was a pretty good one. Noting a few of the highlights for our records. 

Anfer 
Tony attended something called Boys State. It is an eight day experience where a few kids from just about every high school in the state attend. During the week they establish a complete community and government system (I think). Attendees are recommended via teacher referrals so it was a pretty high-caliber collection of young people. Anthony had a lot of fun. What he did not have was a lot of sleep. His first day back, he dropped his bags in the foyer, walked to his bedroom, and slept for fourteen hours. 

Aleo 
Alex was invited to help teach at a weeklong summer program at his university. There were two students from his Film School recommended by faculty. The experience ended up being significantly more challenging than he, or anyone else, expected it to be. Marty and I were both stunned at some some of the situations he found himself in. We were equally surprised by the grace in which he responded to each of them. This poise under duress is an ability he has repeatedly demonstrated in his young life.

Baya 
Bella is working on starting a non-profit (more on that later). While getting things organized, she has been doing a lot of social media work so when she's ready to open the doors, she has a ready group of people to invite inside. The other day, while shopping, someone yelled at her from across a store, “Hey! Yo! Kindness girl!”. She got recognized in the wild! AND she got called Kindness-Girl! It is hard to know which of those two milestones made her beam more.

Marta 
Marty and I took our first trip together without kids since having kids. And it was kinda great. The only bad thing to come of it was when I called my best friend, Bookpimp, to ask if it was ok for Marty to join me on this year’s visit, he replied, “The question is if Marty’s coming, why would we need you?”. In our travels, in addition to doing a record amount of kayaking (in her origami kayak), she did a few new things, namely trail bike riding (through a Michigan forest on dirt pack) and taking up tennis (she has even gotten a coach).

Troy
I’ve been going tent-camping in Michigan every July for the last ten years. Every year, I seemingly go a bit longer. For the last few years, I’ve gone for a month. This year was supposed to be five weeks, but an unexpected Secret Cajun Band concert caused me to delay my departure. When in Michigan I do a good bit of reading, play a lot of tennis, bike a lot of miles, and paddleboard just about every day (that's where I get my baths). Next year I will be adding snorkeling and open water swimming to the list of activities. This year I concluded my Michigan Julys are the summer camps I never got as a kid. I’ve been going to this same place for so long, I now know more people there (other summertime regulars as well as locals) than I do in my home’s neighborhood.

Those are the tippy-top highlights from the Marty-branded best summer ever.

A family friend was in town. Marty has known him since high school. He was here because his mother had taken ill. When he told his mother he had to leave for a bit to visit some friends, she asked who he was seeing. He said, Marty Walter. His mother perked up and said, “Oh, Marty. She’s the one who was dating that very handsome boy, right?” 

After Joe shared his mother’s comment with Marty and me, all three of us standing in the kitchen knew Joe’s reply to his mother was not, “Yeah, she ended up marrying that guy.” We all knew the handsome guy his mother was referring to. In fact, my Marta was on that handsome boy’s arm the night I first met her. And in retelling our origin story, I too might describe him as the handsome boy, so handsome in fact, if given the choice, I might have dated him. 

Fortunately for me, that handsome boy was also not a funny boy. If he could have made Marty laugh and smile as deftly as I could, it might have been a fair fight.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Marty-Thermic

Alex had a movie shoot that would run all night AND be outside when it would be in the thirties. Given his 4% body fat ratio, he doesn’t have a lot of natural insulation. Upon learning this, Marty did a deep dive through our basement storage, looking for things to help. She found them in a blue Rubbermaid tub marked SKI BIN #3. 

After laying her bounty of warm clothes out for him, she proclaimed, that’s how much I love you, Alex. I’m willing to go through all those bins and boxes in the basement so you won't freeze tonight. The rest of the day, we joked with Alex that his mother had a SKI BIN #3 amount of love for him. 

That same day, the neighbors got their thirteen-year-old son a limo to drive him and his friends around during his birthday party. As we all looked out the windows at the kids piling into the glossy black stretch, Alex said, "That's nice but is it a SKI BIN #3 level of love."

I'm thankful the DeArmitt children know it is not.

There's a growing block of people who think I'm a sociopath. How do I know? Because they tell me. Well, they don't tell me, they tell Marty. It typically comes in the form of saying they think something is wrong with me. When Marty asks them why they think that, they say it's because there's no way someone is as happy as Troy appears to be. Marty, with the slightest show of exasperation, will tell ...

Above is Alex’s second film school assignment—make a two minute silent film.

Since first seeing it, I've had multiple recurring thoughts about this 150 second video:

• I'm struck by the conciseness of the storytelling. I won't say I thougth it an impossible ask but would have surely thought it an unreasonable ask were it put before me. Two minutes? What the heck am I suppposed ...
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What's it like having Mrs. Walters as a mom?

All three of our kids attended high school where their mother taught. And not just taught but thankfully served as one of the most popular teachers at the school. Kids love her. They love how she dresses. They love her energy. They love the crazy things she says in class. Last year, a student surreptitiously kept a list of these sayings on the ...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. super spanx

Last year I shared that Bella was graduating college and that she was throwing herself a party and that there would be speeches.

For those who might not have been invited or who were invited but could not attend, above are the speeches that happened at Baya’s self-thrown graduation party.

We all have Aleo to thank for the excelle...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. father knows best

Now that the kids are older and either moved out or are often out, Marty and I are edging our way into those scary waters where a couple has just one another to talk to. When I was younger, I thought this period would resemble life before having kids. Light. Carefree. Easy. In some ways, it is, but when you have sent children you love more than you thought possible into the world, I think my mind ...

Alex recently came to Marty and asked if she was ok. She was and said as much. He asked again, seemingly not believing her first answer. She repeated she was fine and asked why he was asking. He said that he noticed that she had not made dinner on two of the three nights this week. Marty took a moment to recall the week, and yes, because of some atypical evening events, we did not have our usual f...

MARTY
This is Marty's tenth year back in the classroom, after taking a nine year hiatus to stay home with our kids. This year she returned to peak form. She would have gotten there sooner, but the covid-disruption set everyone's plans back. She is a marvel in the classroom and is someone who connects with young people far better than most. I see this every time we go to a school event in the w...

I recently, to Marty, compared Anthony to Bella saying that something he did reminded me of her. With zero pause, Marty quickly corrected me with the following.

After her morning shower, Marty dashes to the basement to get clean underwear. All she had on was a tank top. When she rounded the corner into the laundry room she saw anthony standing there, wearing only a hooded sweatshirt and, like her, no pants or underwear. Seeing his naked buttocks she pulled up and the following ensued.

MARTY
Oh!

ANFER (16)
Oh. hey.

MART...

It was a Friday. Marty was home because it was parent-teacher conference week. On these weeks, Marty works three, twelve-hour days and, in return, gets a Friday off. The boys were home too because if there are no teachers, there is no school.

I woke at my usual time and started working. After a few hours, I heard Marty's feet pad to the bathroom. I snuck to our bed, so I was there for ou...

Yesterday I talked about the challenging and rewarding parts of the deck project. Today let me share the most exciting part of the build. A few years ago, Marty got me a GoPro for Christmas. It was a great gift and something I often use. I record everything from tennis matches to family dinners. A new thing I've been using it for is to make time lapses of work I do. ...

Marty turned 50 last year. Her main gift was passports for the entire family. I know that to your average person, that seems like a pretty lame present, but those who know Marty realize it is spot-on. First, she has been talking about getting passports for the kids (and renewing our own) for many years. Second, this has never happened because of the hassle and the expense.

So the kids an...

I had a dream. In it, I was playing hide and seek with a little girl. I have the sense she was a grandchild. She had a frilly dress and thick pigtails both of which flowed behind her when she ran. Her melodic giggle bounced off the walls and brought life to the whole house. I was hiding behind a french door in the nest (where Marty and I sleep). I heard the small voice running from room to room, c...

Before Marty leaves the house she usually stops by to let me know. Lots of times I'm at my desk working (as she will be leaving for work). When I spin in my chair, sometimes she looks like she does in the above picture because she knows I am going to react to what I see.

TROY
Ohhh. I love that [sweater/pants/haircut].

MARTY
I know you do dear.

TROY
I don't t ...

PART 2 - Shopping on the Bed
(In case you missed Part 1, it is here)

Another big difference between Marty's experience and mine was where the gifts that lined the tree came from.

For me, part of what made Christmas morning so exciting was the complete mystery of it all. While you...