Now that the kids are older and either moved out or are often out, Marty and I are edging our way into those scary waters where a couple has just one another to talk to. When I was younger, I thought this period would resemble life before having kids. Light. Carefree. Easy. In some ways, it is, but when you have sent children you love more than you thought possible into the world, I think my mind and nervous system will never see another carefree minute again.

And this time is not to be taken too casually. The moment on life's map claims lots of couples. They struggle to know what to talk about. They feel their partner is a stranger to them, or their relationship has become more about their shared children than about one another. I can see where this happens. I have a magic weapon, though–Marty.

I am confident it would be impossible to not find Marty interesting or entertaining. Here is a minuscule example. I woke from a nap to find Marty playing her iPhone game. And you did not misread that. I got my first smartphone in 2007 (I think) and shortly thereafter installed this word game where you have a few minutes to guess as many words as possible given a set of six letters. To my knowledge, this is the only game Marty has played in the last 15 years. Many have tried to lure her away, but if she has five minutes and sees a phone in arms reach, that is her jam.

But back to my story. I woke from a nap, and Marty was next to me, her brow furrowed in thought. Upon sensing me stir, she mindlessly reached one hand over and tousled my hair, massaging my head nicely. Suddenly her phone made a large screenshot noise. Her body jerked in surprise.

MARTY
What was that?

TROY
That noise?

MARTY
Yes. Why did it do that?

TROY
Maybe it was a hacker.

MARTY
A hacker? Doing what?

TROY
Watching you. Then they will send you the email that they've recorded you doing things.

MARTY
Doing things. Like what things?

TROY
Like masturbating.

MARTY
What? really? Why would they want to steal that?

TROY
To blackmail you.

MARTY
Blackmail me? I send those kinds of videos out every day. I'd just be glad to learn someone is watching them.

It is moments like this, and thousands of others, why I believe Marty and I will be immune to the post-children letdown.

p.s. Can you spot the dog in the above photo?