a story and conversation repository (est. 2000)
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For as long as I can remember, I've been telling Anthony there are two things he should try–debate and wrestling. Debate because he has an unreasonably able mind and wit. Wrestling because when young he spent as much time climbing trees as he did walking the earth. As a result, Anthony sports a collection of striated muscles that would be the envy of even the most committed gym-rat. After every mention of this advice, one thing was clear–Anthony did not agree or care about either avenue.
Fast forward to the second week of high school. Alex is a senior, and Anthony is a freshman. Further, Anthony is a freshman in a new school district, so he began only knowing a handful of people. These people included his mother (who is also his biology teacher), his brother, and many of his brother's friends. Marty had to work late one day, so I picked Alex up from school. I'm just getting Alex and not Alex and Anthony because Anthony prefers to walk home. This will not seem aberrant until you learn that we live nine miles from the school, BUT that is a story for another time. When I pulled up, Alex, a good friend of his, and her sister slid into the car, backpacks on laps. I'd met the good friend but had never met the sister, so I began talking with her as we pulled away. One of my first questions was what her interests were? After working to process why this old man was talking to her, she told me she didn't really have any interest. Alex tried to help by telling her it was ok. His dad asks everyone that question. As I was expressing my surprise that she could have no interest, a gaggle of kids in front of the school started shouting and waving at us, and more specifically, this girl. I told her I didn't realize I was chauffeuring a celebrity. She played it off, saying it was just people from the wrestling team. I asked if she was a team manager or something. She said she was not the manager; she was on the team. Oh! You wrestle? Yep. After that discovery, the floodgates opened, and the questions flowed. In the middle of my inquisition, I stopped and asked if she would do me a favor. She wisely said it depended on what it was. I said all she had to do was tell Anthony, in passing, that he should check out the wrestling team. I knew this was a pretty easy ask because this whole group of kids, Anthony included, hung out in Marty's room before school. Before the girl could respond, Alex and her sister verbally jumped me from the back seat. They told me I couldn't do that. They said it was disingenuous and manipulative. The rest of the ride held an animated debate about the nature of my request. I definitely found myself on low ground and outnumbered. After dropping the girls off, Alex and I changed the topic and talked about his day. Given the group's response, I assumed that was the end of that. The next night as we were prepping dinner, Anthony wasn't home and should have been (even walking). I asked Marty if I should be worried. She said I should not, and Anthony would be late because he was at wrestling practice. She asked! And he said yes! After the sister asked and Anthony accepted, I learned that Alex and his friend looked at one another and said, what the hell just happened? We told Anthony about the build-up to this request at dinner, and he just chuckled. When I asked why he agreed to do it, he pointed to his newly adopted no-fear, embrace-experience approach to life. And yes, this too merits a dedicated discussion. Marty and I knew the coach. Marty works with him, and Alex previously had him as a teacher (and he was one of Alex's favorite teachers). When we saw him at the season introduction meeting, we asked him how Anthony was doing. He chuckled. When Anthony showed up to his first practice, he was wearing khakis and a polo. The coaching staff asked if he wanted to change. He said he already did. This was a new one for the coaches, and they were curious how things would go for the business-casual kid. Then when he effortlessly knocked out 15 pull-ups, they agreed the boy was going to be just fine. At the first match where Anthony competed, my hopes were, in order:
When Anthony returned to the house later that day, we wondered about his mood. He was in his usual high spirits, and we asked about the meet. He gave a recap to Bella and Alex as they weren't able to go. Marty asked what the coach said to him after the fast pin. The first thing the coach said was, "Wouldn't it be awesome if you could do that to people?" The coach did not sugar-coat or avoid what just happened. The guy was faster, stronger, and more experienced. The guy was also an outstanding example of what you will want to work towards if you want to keep doing this sport in any serious way. Nothing but raw honesty. Anthony has always liked learning new things. What we are seeing as he gets older is there does not seem to be any sort of limiter on what those things are. He is open to all kinds of experiences. Through this mentality, he may in time become one of the most curious humans any of us will ever know. One last detail before I hand these memories to the ether. The wrestling uniforms for the under-classmen were late in arriving. So for Anthony's first few matches, he wore shorts and a t-shirt. Before his first match in a proper singlet began, the coach called him to the side and said, "Just want to let you know that your singlet is on inside out, but we're not going to worry about that right now and are just going to go out there and wrestle." Anthony won that match. And after fixing his singlet, lost his next two. I later told him he might want to consider always wearing it inside-out. That could be his lucky charm and even his trademark. Though, if I could fully architect this story, I'd have Anthony wrestle in khakis and a buttoned-up polo each and every time.
APR 2021
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