Bella didn't want to go to college. Like at all. Instead, she wanted to volunteer at a Nepalese orphanage slash womens' shelter. Do you know how hard it is to convince your child, or anyone, to not give their energy and support to people that desperately need your child's, or anyone's, energy and support? For me, it makes my top twenty list. But I did argue against my child going and helping these women and children. I (and Marty) told Bella our fear was that if she didn't transition straight to college, she might never return to it. We also felt she would have a tougher entry than if she got at least one year under her belt (so she had a sense of what college was like). So Bella did not go to Nepal. Bella went to college.

Her first year was rough. It wasn't the academics that kicked up dust but the emotional side. She viscerally felt she should be and could be doing more for the world. The summer after her first year, Bella and I went tent-camping in northern Michigan for three weeks (Marty and the boys joined us for the final week). During our two weeks alone, Bella and I did a lot of talking while hiking and staring at post-dinner fires. I directed several conversations to the unique opportunities available to college students that are not available to young professionals. For example, I asked her to think of the number one job she would like to have. As a college student, she can call and ask to interview the person holding the position she wants and find out what it would take to get that job, their job. That request lands a bit differently if you are a young professional looking for work, and specifically their work.

Marty held an equal number of conversations about the possibilities at hand. I'm not sure if it was one moment or maybe the culmination of them all, but Bella entered her second year of college with an intentionality rarely seen in people not yet twenty (though there are plenty of rudderless adults as well). She became the president of her school's service fraternity. She was awarded the Newman civic fellowship, an honor given to the student who best represents service at the university. She organized multiple volunteer events. She won numerous student awards. She continued to recieve scholarships that covered every expense. All of this activity culminated in her building a remarkable bank of experiences, friends, and professional allies. Quintessentially Bella.

Someone recently asked me how Bella was doing at school. After mentally fanning out the achievements I could recall, I told them it at times feels unfair, unleashing Bella on her peers. It sometimes feels like a 30-year-old competing with 18-year-olds. Of course, this is the assessment of a father who has an unfathomably deep admiration for his daughter, so adjust the measure as you see fit. But I was also once an 18-year-old college student, and thinking of myself going up against Bella in any sort of endeavor would have been a biblical sort of beat-down, my participation barely registering on Bella's rear-view mirror. So I would say that after an uncertain start, she is now doing fine or as we like to say around here, she is doing good and making it happen.