Marty turned 50 last year. Her main gift was passports for the entire family. I know that to your average person, that seems like a pretty lame present, but those who know Marty realize it is spot-on. First, she has been talking about getting passports for the kids (and renewing our own) for many years. Second, this has never happened because of the hassle and the expense.

So the kids and I took this on as a secret project, and it had many memorable moments. First, we learned that Anthony is entirely unable to keep a secret. We saw the roots of this early in his life when he declared himself a "truther" and vowed to never tell a lie. He accidentally outed our secret plans to his mother on two different occasions by sharing some of the funny stories we had in trying to get the passports. One of the comic moments had me chastised by the passport photographer, who said I had to look less happy for the photo. After three failed attempts to quell my love for life, the man removed the camera from the tripod, scanned past pictures, then held the camera forward so the boys and I could see. The tiny rectangle displayed one of the most dour-looking humans I've ever seen. In seconds her cement gaze forever seared itself onto my brain's walls. After we jointly recoiled, the man said I should try to look more like that. I told him I didn't think I could. He asked me to try. I did and we moved on as a group, albeit a group forever changed.

But I'm getting off-point here. The passports were just part of Marty's present, a necessary part. The real gift was announcing a three-week adventure that would occur in the summer of 2022, hopefully post-pandemic. This trek would first head to the Canadian side of Niagara falls, then move to Nova Scotia and have us returning through New York City. The falls were primarily there to break up the drive to Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia was the main destination as it is a place Marty has always wanted to visit. And NYC was more so we could introduce the kids to the marvel that is the Big Apple. So that was the super trip/present, but it had to be deferred because of all the covid craziness.

But then, in November of 2021, Marty said she had decided to do something different. Instead of taking the super-trip, which would cost several thousand dollars, she wanted to buy a couch that she has wanted even longer than she has wanted to go to Nova Scotia. I don't recall if I had ever talked about this couch before, but Marty has been describing it to me for many years. And every time she has, I have been telling her that what she is describing is not possible per the laws of this physical universe. Let me share some of her desired features. She wanted it to be a u-shaped couch when the family was watching movies, but a loveseat when just she and I were watching movies, and a bed for nights when she "thought" I was snoring more than usual, and a bench seat when we had a big fire and wanted to circle it with hot chocolates. After every dreamy inventory, I would ask if I could get her a pet unicorn instead because that would be an easier ask.

Then when we were on our once every three years visit to the mall, a store caught Marty's eye. I followed her in and found her snuggled in the corner of the couch. A salesman and I arrived at the same time. She asked if she could help Marty. Marty said the couch was lovely, but she wondered if it had a few of her super-features. I scanned the store, disinterested in the futile conversation about to take place. The sales lady interrupted my distractedness, saying, "well, yes, of course, and that's not all." It turns out the Hogwarts-couch does exist. And it happens to cost about the same as a three-week trip to Niagra Falls, Nova Scotia and New York City.

So Marty asked one of those questions that don't really have a question mark at the end. She wondered if it would be ok if, instead of going on her three-week adventure, she got her couch instead. Alexander almost hurt himself with the rapidity of saying yes. His responsiveness stems from the fact that he is not interested in the mega-trip. At the time of the trip, Alex will have just graduated high school and I believe the last thing he wants to do is spend three weeks driving across the country with his singing, laughing, story-trading, car-dancing, hiking, yelp-restaurant-sampling family.

So in February 2022, we will replace our futon/couch of almost 30 years with the unicorn of sofas and marty can hardly wait.