When I worked at the university, one of their benefits was free tuition for your children. When I left the university in 2016 to start my company (and when Bella was a high school junior), I walked away from a million-dollar tuition benefit. In fact, the benefit was so valuable, there is an employment syndrome there called the golden handcuffs. This happens when someone no longer likes their job but can't, or won't, quit because they either have kids who are in or about to be in college. Fortunately, I have a natural immunity to ailments like the golden handcuffs because I am horrific at managing money. Waggling something in front of me to have me do something I don't want to do, has no effect. This drove my mother crazy when I was young. It drives my wife crazy now that I'm old and still every bit as petulant and selective with my time.

When I told Marty I was leaving the university, she reminded me our oldest child was hours away from applying to colleges. I said Bella would almost certainly cover most of her tuition through scholarships. We could augment whatever she couldn't. So I just had to have my act together for the next two, which weren't far enough along to really know what their scholarship opportunities might look like. But surely we would be swimming in money by that time.

At the time of this writing, more than five years have passed. Bella not only covered all of her expenses, she actually makes money by going to school. Alex is now a high school senior and my company is inconviently not bathing me in greenbacks (yet). Who knew how hard starting a company from scratch is? To give some perspective, my first-year salary as a self-employed human was $14,500. That was a shade or two below what my university job paid, AND there was no million-dollar tuition benefit hiding in the folds. I could hear Marty's toe tapping from across the room.

But, we had a son to educate, so we went through the paces of trying to find the best landing spot for him. It has been pretty clear for the last few years, Alex's interest is in video production. This is a mega-valuable insight to have before starting the foggy journey of picking a college. After looking at a few options, Alex settled on a local school. This school is actually closer to our home than where Bella goes. Lottery win #647 for Troy (as I am no more ready to see my Aleo fly away than I was Baya). But this school is also a private school and carries a tuition that makes you think hope someone misplaced a comma.

Quick side-note. A good friend of mine, e-love, who is exceptional at math and finances explained his logic for managing college selections. If a child wanted to go to a big-name, high-dollar university and expected their parents to pay for it, then that child should have to explain how that institution specifically fueled their future plans. If the child said they want to be a pediatric surgeon and a pre-med degree from Duke improved their chances of getting into a reputable medical school over a degree from school so-and-so, then let's figure out how to get you to Duke. But if the child wants to go to Duke without knowing what they want to study or do in life but knows that Duke basketball is, well, like, totally badass, that might be a less persuasive argument. If you have the latter situation, we may want to examine other options and get you a large screen tv as a graduation gift so you can watch all the Duke basketball you want from your so-and-so school's dorm room.

So this was a little bit of our case here. For the field Alex wants to pursue, there are a few schools that have specialized programs. One of them happens to be next to our home. It also happens to have recently invested in the program, which means lots of shiny new things to touch and learn. It took just one more visit to an out-of-town school that was "thinking" about investing in the program, which means lots of run-down facilities and things you are not sure that you want to touch or learn to settle the debate. This simplified the math, and Marty and I told Alex to apply to the local private school, and we would figure it out.

Alex knew other people applying to the school. As they began hearing back and receiving welcome packets, Alex wondered where his response was. As you'd guess, his anxiety grew. In time he expressed this to Marty and said that everyone who applied had heard back, and he was worried he had not been accepted. Marty suggested he call the school. He did and was directed to the office over this process. A cheery lady apologized for the delay and told Alex that his packet was sitting on her desk that very moment and would be going out the next day. But she did not say any more.

Alex continued to fear the worst. I'm sure he was tormented by the thought of not being invited to those new facilities to work with the vibrant professors and engaged students with shared interests he met on the tour. It was a long 48 hours, but in time Alex's response arrived. It offered congratulations on being accepted. A second sheet of paper also offered him a scholarship that covered 85% of his private-school tuition. It was this second sheet of paper that slowed his response down.

Bella is a natural student. She works hard, but many parts of being a student come pretty easy to her. This is not true of Alex. This means that the effort and discipline it took for him to get the marks that would make a college voluntarily give him a scholarship he didn't even ask for is, well, just extraordinary. The boy is a marvel. And I predict his quiet and driven ways will produce unique and fulfilling opportunities in his life's travels. Way to go Aleo!