At Anthony/Tony/Anfer’s high school, the student body votes on who the commencement speaker should be. There is an initial round of nominees where everyone is eligible. The nominations are collected, counted and the top six named. To his, to our, to everyone's surprise, Anfer's name was one of those final six. The six nominees then write and record a two minute sample of what they would talk about were they chosen as the speaker. After those sample videos are made, the student body watches them and votes again. Anfer won the day there too which meant Anthony Walter DeArmitt would deliver his high school's commencement address (video above).

Two things strike me most about his selection.

1. He entered that school district his freshman year, so while many of these kids have known each other since grade school, they had only know Anfer for four years.
2. His junior and senior years he was only at the school for half the day because he spent the other half at a trade school learning carpentry.

Two things that strike me most about his performance.

1. I was tremendously impressed at his preparation. Over the years, I’ve helped people, young and old, prepare to give talks of all sorts. I've never seen someone do as much to prepare for a talk as I saw Anthony do here. Suspect I’m exaggerating? He built a lectern in his bedroom to better simulate what he would experience in the live talk.
2. I tried to project nothing but confidence and certainty to him leading up the event, but inside I (and Marty) were roiling. And when we walked into the collegiate arena and I saw the thousands of people in attendance, well, I don’t ever remember being that nervous, as I could not fathom someone’s first ever public speaking experience being in a venue of this size and to this many people.

Two things that I’m personally appreciative about.

1. The man who lives across the street from us is a public speaking coach. I told him about Anfer’s nomination and then said that I’d been waiting for him to come and ask me to help him get ready, given my past experiences, but he never did. Without missing a beat Fred said, “Troy, you can’t be a prophet in your own land.” I will remember that line for the rest of my days. And it is a piece of wisdom I wish I'd bumped into decades ago.
2. If you define the official end to your parenting duty as graduating your youngest from high school, then this was a special final sentence to that chapter of our lives.

One last share about this experience (because please know, I could go on for a good bit more but am demonstrating immense restraint--think ad naseum). When the video samples were complete, at some appointed hour, all the teachers of the school had to show the videos to their students so they could vote on their favorite. Tony had an admittedly unfair advantage as his brother is a junior in a film program. The other nominees videos were largely shot on iphones, either handheld or leaning on something. Aleo set up a mini-studio in our living room complete with lighting, audio, and even a tape marker on the floor of where Tony should stand while recording. Our living room bookshelves were the backdrop.

After Marty showed the video to her class, a few of the kids wondered if Tony made his video at the library, given all the books behind him. A small debate broke out among them. Marty interrupted saying it was shot in her living room. Some of the students, confused, asked why Tony would be shooting a video in her living room. Marty said because Tony is her son. There were almost a few teen-embolisms as this info set in. Since Marty goes by Mrs Walter(s) and Tony goes by Tony DeArmitt, many people at the school did not know they were related.

When Marty later shared this moment with the family, Tony alertly chastised her saying the only correct response to her students' question of why he made his video in her living room was, "What do you mean? Lots of kids shoot videos at my house." Of course, it is likley that sharp and playful wit that put him on the graduation day podium.