marty and i have been married just over four years and i have finally, just now, convinced her to do away with the metal undercarriage to our bed. now the box spring is right on the floor and the mattress, obviously, sits on top of that. some people think it's silly, stupid and without point. those people are wrong. and simple. and waste their hatred of things on really, really dumb stuff. if you are going to hate, you should hate something of consequence, something that merits your venom, like walgreens or people who say that titanic was really an ok movie.
reasons we are better off without the metalworks beneath our bed.
- bella can climb in and out of the bed without the aid of a stepstool or boost from marty given her little baby legs.
- troy can climb in and out of the bed without the aid of a stepstool or boost from marty given his malformed stub legs.
- not tempted or able to store meaningless stuff under the bed.
- more room in our room for my bursting ego.
- summer is coming and we live in st louis and heat rises.
- when in bed, the room looks super big and you can play the "i'm a little munchkin living in a mushroom house and it all looks wildly out of proportion but that's because i'm a munchkin guy and i am also wildly out of proportion" game.
- the metal framework holding your box spring does not do anything. the fact that you think it serves a need is the result of a capitalist conspiracy.
- after peeing the bed in the middle of the night and getting angrily thrown out by marty i don't have as far to plummet.
now i just have to convince marty to let me hang up my black felt iron maiden posters and my vision will be complete.
