you know how those dancers, some dancers, can make their butt shake and bounce crazy fast. you know, the ones in the music videos where they turn around and hold their arms in the air, which somehow signals the cameraman to zoom onto their ass because it's about to do some magical stuff. and then it shakes like Jell-O on the train. you wouldn't know it to look at me, but i can do this, just like the girls in the video.

well, let me amend that. i can do this while face-down in bed and about to go to sleep. since i don't dance or often raise my arms over my head this is the obvious place for me to discover this talent. i'm not sure if i can do it while standing, i haven't tried it, am actually a little scared to try it, but while sprawled across the bed i look like j-lo herself.