i have settled on a new hair person. needless to say i didn't have a great amount of luck cold-calling barbers around town. the issues were numerous, the frustrations even more-so. it sucks to learn something you already know; replacing a master-craftsmen isn't easy.

for once i've been rewarded for blathering on incessantly about something that only i cared about. after reading, or at least getting tired of reading, about me go on and on and on about the departed hair-savant, larry evilsizor, this girl emailed me, asking for a shot at the title. surprised and curious i responded, asking what i could expect from her service.

she promptly replied saying it was the typical salon scenario; appointment-based, cut, wash and style. i like knowing i can get in the chair on the quick, the cut was obvious, the wash i was a little nervous about for reasons i'll explain, and the style, well styling my hair is like raking cement so i'd be kind and spare her that frustration.

regarding the wash i emailed her with a possible issue; it was an absolute certainty that i would moan, groan and make other such utterances while getting my hair washed and would this cause a problem. she simply asked if they were good or bad noises to which i simply answered 'yes'.

last week while reclined in the heaven chair getting washed, i commented how this was the most intimate relationship i had with anyone outside of my family. i added, this would be the case until i'm no longer able to duck the glove-check my doctor threatened me with at my last visit three years ago. i've been shockingly healthy since that conversation. i advised the hair girl that she will probably hold this unique troy-distinction for some time in that i'm waiting for technology to get to the point where they can discern the state of my rectum while sitting on the other side of the room. although, my children would claim to have already mastered that unlikely feat.