to follow up marty's bit of life knowledge (
here), the advice i always give to struggling folks who approach me:
there is one core law of relationships: you and your partner need to want to be with one another.
it doesn't matter if you're dating, committed or married. the only thing that matters to the longevity of a relationship is if both parties want to be together. sharing this vision, you can tend to shoulder anything that comes your way. the moment someone wavers in this conviction, trouble is ahead.
so work to be someone people want to be around by being an interesting, engaging, attractive, growing person. when you are that the rest should kinda take care of itself. and if it isn't with the human you're with right now, if you are the above things, there is surely another human that would be game to spending minutes with you.
in the name of full disclosure, marty is the person who taught me this lesson. she taught it to me when i wasn't making our early dating years as easy as she believed they should oughta be. so in some regards i guess everyone who has ever benefitted from marty's advice has me to thank because if i didn't spend a part of our early relationship being a crotch-face, then she would have never come to this bit of inspiration.
so you're welcome.
