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MONORAIL: Entries Tagged with WAY-WITH-WORDS-GIRL (4)

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FRIENDS, LIFE, WEB 2015-05-11
Family Scrapbook: fifteen (2015)


on March 6th, 2015 bella turned 14.

on April 30th, 2015 aleo turned 12

and yesterday, May 10th, 2015 dearmitt.com turned 15.

for more than ten years people have been telling me that i would regret this website. they cited reasons varying from "your kids are going to hate that you shared their life so publicly" to "one day you are going to ...
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FRIENDS, LIFE, TECHNOLOGY 2013-04-09
one of the better emails i've ever received (from one of the best readers i've ever had).
in reference to this post
So that you may spend your open neurons elsewhere, I present: rhymes for "penis." I, handily, have a rhyming dictionary. I couldn't find "penis" (this book is so old, I guess it wasn't a word Apollo Editions expected would require a rhyme), but:

Cleanness, meanness, greenness, keenness, leanness, genus, Venus, sereneness, obsceneness, uncleaness

OR, you could cheat:
Obscenest, serenest, routinist, machinist, plenist (WHAT does that word even MEAN??), magazinist

OR, you could alter the pronunciation very slightly:
Beanish, leanish, deanish, cleanish, spleenish, meanish, greenish, keenish, queenish

Never let it be said I do not care about your bandwidth!

Hope you're well,

C
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LIFE, FRIENDS, FAMILY 2006-06-21
casting-call
bookguy calls it noun-challenged. to be noun-challenged is to be someone who can't remember people's proper names. between he and i, it's unclear who is more severely afflicted. as per usual, he would claim the title and i would claim he is wrong. either way, it is a fierce race.

as evidence to my condition allow me to turn to my proclivity for nicknames. i give people such monikers for three reasons; (1) to insulate them from embarrassing things i may say about them online, (2) because i can't remember their name at all, or (3) because i can't remember the version of their name (mike, michael, mikey, m-bag) they prefer or more importantly, they greatly dislike. and on that last item, i've argued many a time that mike, michael, mikey and m-bag are entirely synonymous and should be freely interchangeable.

to recap, some of the past characters, several of which you've heard of countless times ...
  • bookguy
  • bookpimp
  • e-love
  • man who screams like woman
  • doctor j
  • the way with words girl
  • chavez
  • smart ryan
  • buddy james
  • thin when tan girl
  • the why the hell wouldn't ya guy
  • the doctor of diss
  • guy with mussed hair
  • and of course, girl who dates guy with mussed hair
here's a few i've never shared online and use mostly when talking with walt (or rather marty) ...

THE FAKE MOMS
a group of highly augmented ladies who hang out at our pool.

NEWSPAPER DAD
a guy who sits at the park with his four young children reading the ny times and shooing his kids away anytime they near him.

HOLD MY BABY
actually bookguy-coined this gem but it is a fast staple in our home and i'm not really in a position to speak to its origin.

SMILING LADY
i see this lady all over the place and she makes the joker look morose.

BAD, DRUNK MOM
she's not just bad and she's not just drunk, she's both and therefore gets the double-bill.

YELLING MOM
the yelling mom scares me and is not too surprisingly married to ...

THE QUIET GUY
i got ten bucks that says this fella comes out soon.
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FRIENDS 2003-06-05
introducing a new member to the cast
apple computers are like sleek shiny sports cars w/ bubbly shapes and way too sensitive stick shifts. even if they rule the universe, i'm more of a stubborn, beat-up millenium falcon why-the-hell isn't the hyperdrive working-again? kinda computer lover.
email excerpt from the way-with-words-girl
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