Man, this guy gives new meaning to pushing the envelope. I'm still laughing at myself for some of my precarious trips home from the hardware store compared to this guy.

1. Do not urinate in the elevator. It may seem like a convenient, private location, but the entrance-way to the building is usually better ventilated.
2. Do not cast objects over five pounds of weight into the elevator shaft. Although the shaft is very deep and has space for a large amount of trash, heavy objects could penetrate the roof of the elevator, causing hurt to passengers inside. This rule does not apply if you are certain that the elevator car is on a floor above you.
3. While forcing your way into the elevator, it is polite to excuse yourself when you need to push others by the arms and shoulders and buttocks. While entering, if you accidentally push people in the face or in the privates, a quick apology is in order.
4. On average-sized elevators (approx. 3 feet wide by 4 feet long) the passenger limit should generally be regarded as 6. It is not polite to force your way onto a 3 by 4 elevator if there are already six people on board.
5. While writing, drawing or spray-painting on the walls of elevator, make sure not to get any felt marker or paint on fellow passengers.
6. While the elevator is moving, avoid contact with the floors passing by the open door. A poorly placed arm or leg could quickly be torn off if caught between a floor and the elevator car.
7. Especially for new users: If the elevator car jerks strongly or free-falls for a meter or two, do not panic or scream. Locals find this behavior disruptive and irritating.
8. While smoking on the elevator, try not to blow smoke directly in other's faces, and try not to touch them with the burning end of your butt. Remember that it is safer to extinguish your finished cigarette on the floor of the elevator rather that to cast it down an elevator shaft and risk it making contact with unseen flammables.
9. If you are a non-smoker, do not grimace, wince or cough while others smoke in the elevator car. This is considered extremely rude and presumptuous by the locals.

Item compliments of Chris McGrath, retired web developer and bosnian resident. This certainly does help to put things in perspective, chris and gina are ever-reliable on that front.

Nothing needs to be said about this offering other than receiving nuggets like this is what keeps me in my email.

A friend of mine wrote a column for his university paper while in med school a few years back. i remember following his work via the web while he was at it and enjoyed the articles very much. i happened upon them the other day and thought that you all would find his wit as entertaining as i did. therefore, i will be offering them up from time to time for your amusement and edification. the first selected installment, A Probing Issue deals with the digestive tract, something we all use and also take for granted. carry on and happy digesting.

1. When getting on the elevator where people are exiting, let them get off first. First I say!
2. If there are more than 10 stories in the building, do not use the elevator to travel a single floor, especially in a downward direction, unless infirmed or the stairwells are out of service.
3. If there are more than 3 elevators present and you are not the only passenger, do not hold the door while your slow and oafish comrade makes their way down a corridor exceeding 30 feet.
4. When other passengers are present, male urinal rules preside. Identify the largest expanse, divide by two and stay on your side of the demarcation line.
5. If you are simple enough to hit the wrong floor, apologize to the other occupants for your thick nature. If you are actually bent enough to select the wrong floor a second time, complete the job nature started and kindly remove yourself from the gene pool.
6. If the elevator mechanically hiccups in any fashion, do not freak out. Your life is not a keanu reeves film nor are your moans and faces extraordinary.
7. Do not pass gas in the actual elevator car. And while exiting counts as being 'in' the elevator.
8. When more than 5 cars exist, do not throw your briefcase/purse in the closing doors so you can get on. Accept that you missed the boat and wait for the next. Also recognize that you are possibly the fourth person to do this, and the poor suck in the back has now been waiting for 5 minutes to begin his meager journey.

my cyber-friend psychonaut is at his qwirky best again. the saga of roter hutmann is an absolute must read. while it is possibly something geared more towards computer geeks, i think that all people should be able to join hands in a peanuts like moment to enjoy its tale.

and, if you find yourself smitten with psychonaut's comic stylings, feel free to complete his application to become his girlfriend. what questions might you have asked?

if you detest the successories phenomenom even a fraction as much as myself, you should enjoy the effort of despair.com. they took the very necessary dilbert/far side/doonesberry approach to this laughable exercise.

featuring corporate favorites such as Agony,  Defeat,  Failure,  Ineptitude,  Losing,  Mediocrity,  Mistakes,  Pessimism,  Procrastination,  and of course Stupidity, despair.com has taken the motivational art-form to new levels.

For those that do not work in the technical world, this (syndrome.mpg - 417kb) should provide you with a glimpse into the highly-charged and competitive workplace many of us call our career.

Clip complements of productivity.org, a friends hobby and time-sync.

One of the better email offerings I've run across. Betcha never thought that getting shut down by a girl would get you an A on the mid-term. Don't give up on it because of the heady sciency school like feel. The good part is at the end...I can't believe he used her name.

The Castle is for anyone who has ever had a family...which is most of us I hope. It was a few years old before making it to the states (Australian made) but tore through theaters and then video stores with great rapidity and fanfare.

Raising Arizona + Vacation - My Cousin Vinny = The Castle