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SOCIETY 2001-07-26
i can see your religion
David Copperfield hasn?t got a thing on this girl.

Editorial Note: I hate that I and the rest of the free world knows this hacks name. ?Watch and be astounded while I make the planet and every living thing disappear live on network television.? No, Davey, you sit and watch while I amass the contempt of a thousand planets in your direction. Consider it my show of gratitude for turning the fascinating art of sleight of hand into nothing more than commercialized sleight of mind.
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SOCIETY 2001-07-01
extra starch on the collar please
Man do I wish the turned up collar look would come back. I love it to death and it stands as one of the few fashion trends I'd like to re-live. Currently, when getting ready in the morning I don the typical gap or jcrew polo shirt and the collar stands up as it was on the hanger. I typically leave it this way through my morning rituals (i.e. watering the lawn, eating breakfast) and only lower it in bashful shame on my walk to the metro station. Each day I leave it up a little longer though and like easing your way into a cold swimming pool I'm secretly assuming the hip guy role a few minutes at a time. If my past stylistic record can be relied upon in anyway, the fad will come and go before I make it through an entire day with my collar standing tall and proud.
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ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, SOCIETY, LIFE, WEB 2001-06-11
And you thought the penis looked funny
A few people have razzed me recently regarding my sandals and socks look as seen in this month's gallery selection. It is time for us as a people to get past this hangup with socks and sandals. I am doing you a favor by masking from you my least appealing and cleansed body part. And, all this without even touching on the medicinal implications of the foot--bunions, calluses, lost toenails (which is super-gross if you've ever had the pleasure), foot odor, athlete's foot, etc. So let us dissect our friend to the south at a raw and anatomical level.

Unless you are a part of the wasabi tribe of southern Africa or one of their charter members, your feet are bunged up all the time in a B.O. ridden vacuum you call your socks and shoes.

All male feet at one point or another have come into contact with human urine, and oftentimes it's not our own. Tut, tut, tut ladies, don't wipe that brow just yet, because if you've ever lived with a male, your little piggies have swam in the yellow water as well.

While my feet are exceptional in this next area, most people's feet possess at least one oddity. My claim to fame; my feet are as wide as they are long. Yes, you did the math right, that would make them square.

I have never seen two sets of toes that look the same. This is unnerving. I've also known people whose second toe is longer than my pinky finger. Also unnerving.

Lastly and most importantly, people's grotesque negligence towards the routine and non-optional maintenance of their feet is appalling. You gotta get between the toes, between them.

Given the abuse I have taken over my cloth-covered toe, the obvious need for discussion and the fact that I am right, I am dedicating this entire week to the human body. And, can we get a game of socks versus skins going here?
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