| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-08-18 |
 for the first time, possibly ever, i didn't shower for one week. the exact count was one week plus eleven hours. this did not have intentional beginnings. i didn't even notice for about three days, but when i did notice i had gone three days AND didn't smell funky or look foul—all thanks to lake michigan—i thought i could try to make a run of the week.
a meaningful detail to ...
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| FAMILY, LIFE, SOCIETY |
2014-07-15 |
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the day before fourth of july, which kindly fell on a friday this year, served up the most spectacular day of weather i can ever recall seeing in a usually hot and humid st. louis. work that day proved quiet and productive given many people chose to take the day off. staff was released at noon but i took advantage of the silence to get a few more things done, leaving at 3:30. i strolled along my walking commute staring at the magically blue sky which had crisply lined clouds slowly floating by. they were so pristine they looked near-animated, like miyazaki himself sketched them above us.
between this weather and my early jump on the three day weekend and my walking commute i near floated home. as i turned the final corner towards my house bella and anthony came towards me on roller blades. upon seeing me, their already large smiles grew bigger and they spread their arms wide before them asking (shouting) why i was home already.
throwing my own arms wide, i proclaimed, "i'm naming this the most beautiful day of the year and in honor of that, i'm coming home early to enjoy it with my family."
with them riding a scooter was an adorably cute neighbor girl of about six or seven years old (imagine how cute a huge-grinning, near-toothless anthony is, but then make him even cuter and give him lopsided, pigtails). after my proclamation, all three kids looked up and around, not having seemingly noticed the magical mood of the temperature or the cloud-dotted sky or relaxed state of our community. they consented that it all did seem pretty nice. i introduced myself to their friend and we chatted about the day briefly. as we parted bella stopped and yelled back to me that my pants were very blue. the pants were my new light-weight summer pants from jCrew and were a pastel blue (they were my favorite cut (urban-slim) and summer-time fabric (oxford-cotton) AND were on sale for 50% off BUT only in this color AND were part of the very necessary post weight-loss wardrobe re-fresh). I yelled back my thanks and that they were my homage to this beautiful day. bella flashed me the smile she uses when i say silly, fatherish things and turned to catch up to the others.
later, when bella and anthony returned home from roller-blading, bella told me that after our exchange about my pants, when she caught up to anthony and the new girl, the new girl said to her, in an understanding tone, "it's ok bella, my parents aren't very classy either".
just when i thought the day couldn't possibly offer me more.
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-06-24 |
with marty now working nine months of the year again, getting summers off from morning duties is like shedding an early-morning, part-time job. the result is one of the best-ever weekly schedules.
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-06-19 |
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on saturday marty left for a six day trip with the kids. some happenings at work prevented me from joining them (this obviously was the core reason for getting the phone as they couldn't take my work-issued one with them). as they piled into the packed car i gave each one an enormous feet-off-the-ground hug and told them to be amazing listeners and helpers to their mother. i told alex to be extra frosty as co-pilot because he and his mother hadn't logged the hours behind the wheel together that he and i had. at the end of my embrace with marty i gave her an extra squeeze and said:
TROY
be careful.
MARTY
i will. i've done this before.
TROY
i know. it's just that you have my whole world barreling down the highway at 70 miles an hour in that van.
MARTY
got it. enjoy your peace and quiet.
TROY
peace and quiet? with all the parties i have planned. ain't gonna be much peace and quiet around here.
MARTY
well, i thank you for having your parade of women wait until we left before getting started.
TROY
of course. but i hope they don't wait too long. i feel a nap coming on.
they left. forty minutes later the phone rang. i answered it.
TROY
hello.
ALEX
hey dad. this is alex.
TROY
hey aleo. you ok?
ALEX
yeah, i just wanted to call you and let you know we got out of the city ok.
TROY
ok. i'm glad to hear that. thanks for the update.
ALEX
it's ok. and i'm going to call you every hour and let you know how it's going.
TROY
hourly updates. ok. that would be awesome.
and while they weren't consistently on the hour they did come. part of me was thankful for these drips of insight that my family was ok and sound. another part of me was wondering when my parade of women were gonna start showing up.
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY |
2014-05-15 |
friday night marty took alex and bella to an amen concert. amen is the acapella group our friend e-love operates. for not entirely clear reasons, anthony did not want to go this year so i agreed to hang back with him. just after the concert-crew left, i told anfer to saddle up and we were going on an adventure. wanting to assess if this second option held appeal to him he asked what we were doing. i told him it was a surprise. anthony is not a great fan of surprises and told me as much. i held my ground.
my palm V informed me that the bubble soccer courts were open tonight. i learned about bubble soccer some months back and after laughing till injury while watching their explanatory videos i entered the tournament dates into my palm. as i said that was many months ago and i recalled seeing it in my calendar and here i was with a young boy (who i thought would find bubble-soccer high-sterical) and some time on our hands. i planned to follow that up with a dam burger ( the most amazing burger-fry combo in all of stl) which happened to be magically near the bubble soccer courts. and then we would swing by ted drewes which, once addicted, can always be rationalized as being close-by.
bubble soccer did not dissapoint and i found myself laughing till injury, again, while i watched a set of high school kids, male and female, sending each other awkwardly ricocheting off the walls, floors and other players. curiously, anthony found the sport "harsh", a description he repeated after every collision. his side of the dialogue included, most exclusively, the following lines repeated.
that was harsh dad.
why is this game so harsh?
why do you want me to see this kind of harshness dad?
do you want me to grow up to be this harsh?
that boy is the most harsh.
do these boys know they are harsh?
to picture the full dialogue you need to imagine the person he's talking to as resembling bobby deniro's character in cape fear cackling in the movie theater. and i'm not even a slap-stick comedy kinda guy but i found this inflated-gladiator warfare wickedly funny.
anthony's dislike turned into a full-on snit so i said we'd go. as we walked out his lecture about my choice continued. by the time i was pulling out of the rec center's lot i had cancelled our next two stops and was headed home (even though this injured me more that it did him but a good percentage of parenting needs to go that way).
as i closed in on our house i realized it was 8pm and i hadn't eaten since lunch. so i pulled up in front of our cheap chinese spot, told anthony i'd be right back (he was reading in the back seat). i ran in ordered my usual and then stepped back outside to wait for it to be ready. as i stood on the sidewalk i watched the people passing by got lost in my thoughts of work and the weekend. i was pulled out of my stupor by a loud-talking man. he appeared to be a college-student and was leaning into a police car. i heard him say to the officer, "maam. someone left that little boy alone in the car. they pulled up and ran into one of the stores here."
honestly, the first thougth through my head was "now what douchebag went and did that?" then the guy pointed at my car. my eyes went from my car, to his outstretched arm, to the police officer swiveling in her seat to get a better look, to my car, to the man's pointing finger to the officer to the pointing finger before my mind shook me from my daze enough to hear the words, "they're talking about you idiot".
i raised my own hand and said "excuse me sir. that is my car and i'm right here." he ignored me. i thought he didn't hear me so i repeated myself. this time i knew he heard me but still ignored me so he was fully caught up in some bizarre passive-aggressive move (like being left in the car alone too often as a child himself) so i just walked up to the policemen's window, leaned in and explained that the car and child were mine and i was standing there waiting for a food order. she nodded, smiled and drove on. i stood up and looked at the whistle-blower who was walking off self-importantly. my mind flashed an image of him wearing a huge clear bubble, then a bubble-wrapped me careening into him at full-speed sending him into a rolling ricochet off the plate-glass window of the storefront he passed. this mental movie may not have made me cackle, but it did make me smile. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE, TECHNOLOGY |
2014-05-08 |
 if you don't recall the start of my minecraft career, it might be prudent to refresh yourself before continuing.
i'm continuing to log minecraft hours with the boys. playing with the boys reminds me why adults often talk about how quick kids are to pick up new technology things and how young people view us as slow and addled. after ...
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-05-05 |
 i recently wrote about the picture i thought was the most joyful ever. in that discussion i shared that my image of choice was part of a daily ritual i have but i didn't discuss it further. i have a ten minute walking commute to and from work. while it is great to have your home be that close and convenient to travel to, ...
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-04-23 |
my employer recently began a toastmasters group. the second i saw the opiton, i enrolled. one week ago today was our club's first meeting. and at this meeting i had the honor of being our club's first speaker. the first talk you are asked to do as a toastmaster is a six-minute ice-breaker. below is the transcript of my ice-breaker speech.
INTRO
the name of my talk is who i am and why i'm here.
for a man of my mature years, defining oneself can be a little tricky.
so, i'm going to solve this by starting with my birth and ending at this very moment right here.
that may seem an ambitious goal to achieve in six minutes but i'd guess that for many in the room, standing in front of an audience and told to entertain them for six minutes will feel like a lifetime, so it's actually rather fitting.
BULLETED LIFE
to begin.
my name is troy lane dearmitt.
i was born and adopted in lancaster pa.
when i was six, my parents poured their combined wealth on a twin bed in a one room space they occupied. the family fortune on this day came to 23 dollars and some change.
a few months later, my family left the state of pennsylvania in the dark of the night, my father, after fitting as many of the family possessions in the car as he could, rolled it down the hill past the landlord's house to escape detection.
we drove west along the canadian border until hitting the rocky mountains where he turned left.
the money ran out in fort collins colorado. this is where we'd spend the next twelve years. (the story goes, if gas was cheaper in cheynne wy, that is where i would have grown up, but my dad, ever the stickler for a good price at the pump, even to this day, didn't like what he was seeing in cheyenne and thought he could pull another sixty miles from the tank).
aside from puberty wreaking havoc with my hair, the twelve years i spent in colorado were quiet and uneventful which worked well for my demeanor.
when i was 18 my mother started a second career as an std woman for the cdc. translated this means a sexually transmitted diseases woman for the centers for disease control. and yes, your assumption is right, there is not an 18 year old boy on this planet that wants his mom working, publicly at least, in venereal disease, but i'd need another six minutes to get into the neurosis this brought on, but to give you a taste, i'll add the picture that i was usually the only boy in my college class who when pulling his book out of his bookbag would have five condoms spill into the aisle.
six months after arriving in st. louis i was thunder bolted by a st. louis girl. for those that might not know what getting thunder-bolted means, it means after seeing a person, the next thought to come from your mind's printer contain the words 'that is the girl i am going to marry'. and yes, this is like the greatest, most important, most valuable piece of knowledge a young man can ever receive. there is only one exception to this informational windfall and that is when the girl you were thunderbolted by did not get the same message, which was the case here. thus, i got to spend the next eight years convincing here i was the man she should marry (she had many suitors) which in time she did.
as our relationship solidified i assumed between st. louis and colorado we'd be living in colorado. but it is very true what they say about st. louis girls white-knuckling their zip codes because here we are some twenty years later.
and that is how i came to be in st louis.
WHY I'M HERE
next, as promised, let me share how i've come to be specifically in this room.
everyone i've mentioned this toastmasters affiliation with, who knows me, has expressed surprise.
the reason for this is for the past twenty years, every job i've had has included or been solely about public speaking.
so people who have seen me talk or work wonder why i'd join such an organization.
the reason is i have a secret.
the secret is before every speaking engagement i've ever done, a war has been waged in my mind.
a war full of shouting and intimidation.
this war was waged before i gave my first talk twenty years ago.
this war was waged last week when i guest lectured in a class of graduate students.
this war will be waged again this friday when i give an hour long talk to 100 law students.
and yes, this war was waged before this talk today.
the good news is in the last twenty years i have never lost this war. i've never avoided a speaking opportunity and every time i said i'd speak, i spoke.
but the smartest among us say that the true victory is not in winning the battle—the true victory is avoiding the war.
that is my personal goal—to not have the war.
and that is why i have come to be in this room today.
and that is who i am and that is why i'm here.
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY |
2014-03-31 |
 aleo turning the photographic tables around. he is ever thoughtful like that. ...
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-03-11 |
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today is marty's birthday. several months back she dropped the hint, and by hint i mean she just came out and said, "all i want for my birthday is a working dishwasher". well i, wanting to add master gift-giver to the list of things i am known for, made an indelible note on my mind's whiteboard.
in getting an impressively mature/early start on the endeavor i recalled that getting a new washer involved new and expensive plumbing work to meet code. i then iterated through the notes made by the repairman about the machine as well as the litany of work i had done to date. with about six weeks till today i started studying the problem in hopes that i could figure out why the machine was not doing what it was built, solely, to do. i crossed the finish line on saturday, with three days to spare, by having our dishwasher clean its first set of dirty dishes in better than two years. marty was over the moon and i beamed with a genuine pride reserved for young men who solve seemingly unsolvable problems, given their meager abilities at least.
and now, in addition to providing marty with the one birthday present she wanted most, i have a professional fall-back plan if my I.T. gig doesn't pan out as a dishwasher repairman because i know way more about these animals than any one man who isn't a repairmen should.
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| FAMILY, FRIENDS, LIFE, SPORT |
2014-02-19 |
another question my friend, the same from yesterday, asked me about in our last outing was why i worked so hard to lose weight and get in shape. his question, obvious as it was, took me a little off-guard and without much thought i told him, generically, so i could make sure i'm able to keep playing with my kids as i get older and don't have to be the dad that sits on the park bench reading the paper, shooing them back to play on their own when they call me in to share in their climbing and chasing games. later in the week, my sub-conscious, certainly un-enamored with my wanting response, pushed forth the real answer by replaying one of lester burnham's many great lines from american beauty. this particular exchange came when he caught up with the male couple from next door during one of their morning runs.
Lester: I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast.
Jogger: Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?
Lester: I want to look good naked!
if i were honest with my friend, and myself, this is the core reason i'm working as hard as i am. first and foremost i believe that if i achieve that goal, of looking good naked, many other pertinent and meaningful dominoes will fall, like looking good at the pool, having clothes fit me better, feeling energetic, avoiding doctors/hospitals (!!!), walking into speaking engagements with greater confidence, sleeping more soundly, biking a hundred miles with my daughter, getting out of a chair or off the floor without accompanying groans and moans, and yes, all that and being able to rawk the park with my youngins.
the biggest and most unanticipated benefit of getting my body back more like my college days was surprisingly not on my list: making my wife more interested in me. she had never discerningly reduced her affection for me over the decades as i added better than a pound a year to my frame but once the weight left my mid-section, there was a perceptible uptick in the attention i received from her. for instance, as i passed her in the hallway where before we'd politely skirt by one another without any antics, she might now hold a hand out as i passed and rake her fingers across my flat-ish stomach or she might come up behind me as i did dishes and send a slow hand down my side, leaving a tantalizing comment in my ear before peeling away. again, while this sorta stuff never fully went away, this sorta stuff wasn't happening with the same frequency when i was having to up-size my pants every other year. and even though this perk wasn't on my radar of benefits when i began the trek, i can whole-heartedly say it stands out (and up) as the best part of the view now that i've crested the hill. |
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| FAMILY, TECHNOLOGY |
2014-01-22 |
From: Troy Dearmitt
Sent: Friday, January 17, 2014 9:09 AM
To: Marty Walter
Subject: tonight
walt,
apologies for my hesitation at your offer to ride to chesterfield this evening. i was dripping wet having ran from the shower to answer the phone and was simultaneously trying to decipher a long, cryptic, truly, note just placed in my wet hand from anthony, so you know, just another moment from our life with kids. in any other state i would have jumped to spend time with my stunningly beautiful, effortlessly funny, and endlessly charming wife. i would love to take a mini-road-trip with you. please plan on it if you haven't un-invited me yet.
love you.
t
From: Marty Walter
Subject: RE: tonight
Date: January 17, 2014 11:11:54 AM CST
To: Troy Dearmitt
I might be able to relate to your experience.
I've already lined up a gaggle of Russian male gymnasts to escort me tonight, but if they fall through you might do.
Marty
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2014-01-13 |
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last friday morning i woke extra early, like in the five o'clock hour. i went through my morning routines which ended with a bike ride (e.g. spinning on a trainer in the basement that is). as i logged my exercise results from the handlebar computer, i paused when i scrawled the date out in my notepad. 1/10/14. january tenth marks the date of my first date with marty as well as our wedding day. some quick math told me we had just crested our 24th year together.
knowing marty should be awake by now, i kept an eye out for her as i passed through the kitchen and then upstairs. i didn't see her in the bathroom, the nest (our bedroom), or the ping-pong room. then as i walked down the hall, i noticed movement in the boys room. i looked through their door and saw a bluish light coming from their closet. in peering through the two swinging doors i found my wife inside the space. she stood in front of her wall of clothes (yes, our clothes closet is in the boys room -- remember, we sleep in something called the nest which barely accommodates our bed let alone a closet). clad in a pair of kooky, patterned tights she got for christmas, a bra and a damp head of hair, she scanned her clothing options using a lego-man flashlight whose feet cast a dim blue light upon her choices (the blue light surely wreaking havoc with the true color of each garment). as she sensed my approach she turned her head grinning at being caught in such a curious moment. i kissed her shoulder and wished her happy anniversary. she smiled bigger and said, "yes. you too." i told her i never imagined twenty-four years after our first date to find us standing in a closet, lit only by a toy flashlight, her in funny tights and wet from a shower and me in biking bibs and wet from exercise trying to be quiet as to not wake any of our three children, two of which were sleeping just on the other side of the door. her smile widened perceptibly as she agreed to the sentiment. and with nary more than that, we acknowledged another shared year.
and, the saying "you just can't make this stuff up" continues to show itself to me as one of life's greatest truisms.
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| FAMILY, LIFE, TECHNOLOGY |
2014-01-10 |
mr jason kottke, my digital-hero, recently wrote an article about the death of the blog. the subject obviously caught my eye and i quickly clicked through. as i read i felt more old and more out of touch until i came to the line that read:
Blogs are for 40-somethings with kids.
and i instantly went from feeling totally disconnected to being exactly right where i'm supposed to be. and i can for sure count on one hand the number of times that has happened in my life. |
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2013-12-17 |
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things i say a lot to my kids:
in the morning when i first see them:
welcome to another beautiful day on planet earth.
when i say goodbye to them:
do good.
when i announce we're about to leave:
wheels up in five.
when it's time to go to bed:
shut it down. brush, potty, and bed.
when they do something i deem foolish:
oh c'mon. you've gotta have more sense than that.
when i'm in mush mood for them:
you know i love you big, right?
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2013-12-12 |
i turned 45 last sunday. i took the friday before off work, not so much for my birthday but mostly to prepare for my everyman wrap party happening saturday night, although i snuck some troy-centric things in along the way, namely burnt butter pasta at the old spaghetti factory for lunch. because of the early prep, the saturday party went off anxiety and issue free. sunday offered more leisure-time and some visiting of friends (some who had a new labrapoodle puppy--i'm now deciding between getting one or two for our home). we then went out for my ritual birthday dinner at cafe natasha and their mystically good beef kabobs. because we had leftover mama nat ice cream pie from the party, we returned home for desert (instead of the usual stop at ted drewes). at the dinner table, my family sang happy birthday and marty and boys gifted me a new bike pump to replace the broken one i've been cussing at for over a year. my twelve-year old daughter then handed me a three sheets of type-filled paper and instructed me to read aloud.
Bella will now read the rest of your birthday present to you (please hand this back to Bella).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
You're officially 45 (when I first made this list I thought that it was 43!). It's either that or 99 or 100.
This is my birthday present to you. I started making this March 25th (knowing that it would take this long to come up with 100 thankfuls for you). I thought of it the day that you listed off 40 things you were thankful for about our utah ski trip. It was also a day or two before the VOICE VOTED OUT EXACTLY ALL OF THE GOOD SINGERS!, but you'll hear more about that later.
Before I say anything else I must make you promise that if we are fighting or throwing insults at each other, you promise that you will not refer back to this. Promise?
Below is a list of 100 thankfuls I have about you:
while tempted i will not bore you will all 100 items. here are a few from the start and end, with a few from the middle sprinkled about.
- I'm thankful that you were able to see right from the first time you met mom that she was the woman you had to marry.
- I'm thankful that you didn't give up when mom didn't instantly fall in love with you, or soon, or later, or really later (but she did eventually fall in love with you, it's a miracle).
- I'm thankful that your mother picked you to be the child she adopted, otherwise none of this would have happened... wait, no, if your mother's mother never gave birth to her then she wouldn't be alive to adopt you, no wait, if you're mother's mother's mother never gave birth to your mother's mother ... never mind, the butterfly effect ;)
- I'm thankful that you thought up the "$15 credit" thing. As I've heard your friend say, it was the best investment and phone call you ever made.
- I'm thankful you and mom got married, when she eventually realized that you can't judge a book by its cover.
- I'm thankful for all the potty jokes you and the boys share. Mostly I'm thankful for that because then my brothers don't come to me with their potty jokes.
- I'm thankful that you would go from one edge of the world to the other for me.
- I'm thankful that you're my someone who I get to joke around with and make crude and mean comments to. Everyone needs someone like that in their lives.
- I'm thankful that you have the Troyscripts. I know that I have my moments when I probably make you hate that you made them in the first place (like, when I come home and tell you that the kids at my school found them).
- I'm thankful that you've helped me develop into the amazing writer I am today ... maybe I'm not amazing, but I'm thankful that you've helped me become interested in writing.
- I'm thankful that you gave me tons and tons and tons of advice about boys, maybe a little too much.
- I'm thankful you let me get a bikini.
- I'm thankful that you're able to look past all my flaws (not that I'm admitting I have any).
- I'm thankful that you lived another year, and that you chose to spend it with us.
- I'm thankful that you're the man you are today.
- I'm thankful that you love me.
if you'll please excuse me a moment. i'll be off crying (again) for a bit. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE, TECHNOLOGY, WEB |
2013-12-04 |
another semi-related story to the everyman deals in the buildup to the contest. in discussing the early motivation to get art, i mentioned going to an art fair and buying some photos for my newly purchased (and bare) home. during the transaction i struck up a conversation with the photog's wife who also served as his manager. she mentioned the newly forming web and their need to get her husband's work online but confessed they were having problems with it. having recently gotten into the game i gave her my sympathy admitting there was a lot of mystery to in using this new medium well, especially in the arts. but i waved my arm towards their wall of photography and said their task was simpler than most as the biggest thing they had to do was stay out of the way of her husband's amazing photography and let the art wash over the user. she conceded to the sense of the approach but gave the oft-used 'easier said than done' in reply. looking over the man's stunning work hanging on the temporary panels of his booth, various treatments for porting the images to the web came to mind. i asked her if she would be interested in an exchange—a web design for some prints (the prints were quite pricey for a fellow who just bought his first home). i added if they didn't like my suggestions they wouldn't owe anything in return. if they did, i would let them determine the quantity and size of prints they felt fair in exchange. she smilingly agreed.
as is the way with true inspiration in a matter of days i had produced a site design i thought would suit them well. i packaged up several screen shots and emailed them to the woman. as is the case whenever you share your artistic creations i sat back and awaited their reaction. none came. not after a day. not after three days. not after two weeks. i obviously took the silence as a solid rejection of my work and will say it injured my confidence in the craft and vigor for the trade more than i'd like to admit. i tried to push the failure out of my mind but the taunting notion routinely skipped through the forefront of my awareness like a teasing classmate.
then on a bored weekend night months later—i said it maimed me to embarrassing degrees—i pulled up the photog's site to try to see what they could like in their present design that my work did not improve upon. after the page loaded i stared at not the faltering design i had looked to replace, but the design i had sent them, albeit a clumsy implementation of it. i stared at the page using my design for several minutes trying to make sense of what i was seeing. i scrolled to the footer and about pages looking for a mention of credit. i found none.
Anger took the Rejection that had been moping around my brain by the collar and threw her out the front door with a flailing kick in the ass. the few times Recognition's bright face dared to knock on the door to celebrate the acceptance of our design Anger turned her away with a rough push in the shoulder.
i talked to marty about what happened. she told me to call them and say that its a sad world when one creative steals the work of another creative and especially after one supported the other by buying their work. i silently listened to marty's prudent advice but instead said things like, "nah, it doesn't really matter" or "if you have to say those words to an adult they won't matter". so i did nothing. well, that's not entirely true. every month or two i'd pull the website up and look at my design and feel the anxiety of emotions that sputtered and flared.
then the email campaign began. every few months i'd receive an email from this photographer announcing his latest prints and inviting me to see them on his newly designed website. to add to it, they even modeled the email campaign using my design. after the third email, i sent a polite request to be removed from their list and the following email exchanges took place.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002 5:13 PM
please remove me from your newsletter.
thanks.
troy.
Tuesday, December 3, 2002, at 10:27 PM
Troy,
Are you the designer in Kansas City (or maybe it was St. Louis) who spoke to me several years ago about creating a web site? If you are, I've been trying to find you! Please reply and let me know if I have the right guy. Thanks.
Louise
Tuesday, December 3 2002 @ 11:01 PM
yes. i would be that guy.
troy
Wednesday, December 4, 2002 11:38 PM
Yea! I'm so glad it's you. Whit and I have been feeling terrible about losing your information after my brother used your design for our web site! We would like to compensate you for the wonderful mock-up that led to our site. Originally you said that you would be willing to trade your work for some of Whit's work. Is that still OK? We'd like you to pick some images (if you're still interested) and let us send them to you at our expense.
I'm sure you've been steaming over this the past 18 months. Please know that we never meant for this to happen. We are really grateful for the design. We really are good people who would never dream of "stealing" someone's idea and not compensating them accordingly. Let us know what we can do for you.
Sincerely,
Louise (and Whit) Bronaugh
Thursday, December 5, 2002 11:40 PM
well, this is a pleasant surprise. truth told, i was a little uncertain of what to make of the situation. i checked back on your site a few weeks after sending the mock-up and thought it looked reminiscent of my suggestion. your email somewhat restores my faith in the world around, and at a nice time with the holidays and all.
your brother's execution of my vision is to be applauded. your site is very nice, professional and i think conveys whit's work respectfully. hopefully it has proven to be an effective aid to your business. and, in perusing the site i saw that whit went to college at colorado state. i grew up in fort collins, just a couple of miles west of the campus. i used to skateboard on the sidewalks around moby gym quite frequently and worked several jobs at campus west in high school. great place. miss it dearly.
given the time that has passed, i'm somewhat compelled to pass on your offer, but i am hopelessly enamored with whit's work and would love a few more of his photos adorning my walls. last christmas, my brother-in-law bought a whit original for his wife after seeing his works in our home. i'm not sure what's appropriate but will list two and let you decide what's fair.
sunrise, sunflower
delicate innocense
thanks for the email and taking the time to follow up. i appreciate the gesture.
your lost web guy,
troy
the two things i learned from this ordeal are:
- every time i get myself worked up over something, it is almost always for naught in the end.
- when marty is kind enough to offer advice, i should be sensible enough to use it because it is, also, almost always spot-on counsel.
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, FRIENDS |
2013-11-21 |
a quick recap. yesterday i talked about making a change in my approach with alex. in short, i made the decision to allow alex's interest to direct our time together instead of me pushing things i deemed more worthwhile for alex and his development (yeah, i know, what a big-time ass). presently, one of alex's premiere interest is a game called minecraft. as a rule, i'm reasonably derisive towards video games believing them to be an unfortunate use of young minds primed and ready to learn real things with a never-to-be-had-again ability or rapacity. in putting aside my agenda and deciding to support my son in his interest, i called one of my best friends, bookguy, who i knew played the game and asked his advice. bookguy defended this particular game saying it was better than most and iterated through the reasons why, a key one being the intensely creative nature of the game which craftily blends lego-like building with dungeons and dragons-like adventure. bookguy also pointed me to a few things to accelerate and amplify our experience.
so monday night, the first night of the new troy, alex helped me install the game on my computer. he then schooled me on the basics and helped me to build, or craft rather, my first house, complete with a roof and bed. i backed away from the computer after night one feeling good about our progress.
on tuesday night i suggested to alex we try to load one of these maps my friend told me about AND to try to get the local network gaming figured out, another bookguy tip. alex inquired about the map and i said i had one in mind. i pulled up the webpage bookguy directed me to and the second it appeared on the screen, alex lost it, and i mean completely.
ALEO
herobrine's mansion! herobrine's mansion! that's the map we're getting?
TROY
i think so. if we can get it figured out.
ALEO
oh my gawd dad! that is like the most amazing map ever made for minecraft.
TROY
that's what i hear.
ALEO
oh my gawd! oh my gawd! i can't believe this is happening. this is amazing!
and happen it did. we got the map installed, the texture add-on in place, and the networking figured out. alex and i, with anthony enthusiastically watching, ran around a mightily impressive world made by some mightily impressive dude. there were lots of excited explanations by alex and re-spawnings by dad (namely because i kept hitting the bad guys with a piece of steak instead of my sword). let's just say a certain corner of our house was much more lively than it has historically been for a routine tuesday evening.
when i later put alex down for bed he thanked me for playing minecraft with him and getting the maps and figuring out how we could play together. he then said, "dad, this was the best day of my life" and from the dreamy seriousness in his voice i felt that he was not embellishing his mood, not one iota.
had you told me on sunday afternoon that i would be experiencing this moment forty-eight hours later, i would have wondered what major life event had occurred. it just turns out the major life event was a quiet ten minutes of thought. i knew i wanted something more from a very important part of my life, i just didn't know it was so close at hand.
but, there is a bad side to this story. the unfortunate side effect to injecting an ok life with a plunger-full of awesomeness is it can make ten year olds curse like a target stock boy. it peaked as my minecraft character dropped into the newly installed herobrine world when alex, awe in his wide eyes, shouted in my ear, "ohhhh! this is awesome!! this is so fricken' awesome!!!"
i would have chastised him, but i agreed. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, LIFE |
2013-11-20 |
the last seven days floated more innovative ideas before me than any other week in the history of troy. a few you may have heard or seen as well, assuming you too are not enforcing a news embargo, but a few will be new to you.
item one told of "the coach that never punts or kicks off" ( video) but instead runs on every fourth down and only does onside kicks. it seems he read this study by some harvard prof who has the math to support the approach, and this coach has seen a great deal of success from it. i'm confident i'm not the only one wondering if this is all true, as it seems to be for skill levels found in the sub-college ranks at least, i'm left wondering how has no one seen this before?
for the second item, a friend over lunch told me of a teacher at his kid's school who has his students learn the lessons at home via web videos (e.g. what is the pythagorean theorem?) and do their homework in class where, if confused, they have access to the teacher and others learning the same concept. when i mentioned this to marty she had heard of it, being in the industry and all, and said the practice is called 'flipping' the classroom. given all the great web fodder out there, cases in point, i can see this as being a highly profitable approach, especially if it means my kids not having to turn to me for help with things i didn't understand the first time around.
the third bit of inspiration i bumped into came from the mother of one of my former students. she told me that when her three boys were young they got very little television. she policed this in the following way:
- each boy would pour over the weekly television listing that came in the sunday paper where they circled two hours worth of television from the offerings.
- the marked up schedule would then get posted, like on the fridge, for reference. then everyone knew when they had to be home for tv, being the pre-tivo age, and the boys would look forward to their windows of time.
- alternately, and probably more importantly, they could look at the movie section of the same paper and direct their two hours at a theater movie instead of television.
i can just imagine the excitement and anticipation surrounding this ritual and how it would make special something that for must of us has become a completely numb and expected part of life. i'm anguished i didn't learn of this practice ten years ago. i find it beautifully thoughtful, inspired even.
the last item comes from my own desk. perhaps all the innovation happening around me moved me to keep up. the everyday problem i held in my hand dealt with alex and the time we spend together. it's not that our time together is strained, it's just not as vibrant and easy as i would describe my relationship with my other kids. as such, i sat down to reflect on this and inside ten minutes came to the conclusion that i was trying to push alex towards things i wanted him to do instead of leveraging one of his many interests. when i considered how i would feel if someone did that to me, i concluded i would think:
1. that the person was an ass.
2. and that the person might be acting a bit like their own father.
these two lines of thought put a quick end to that. minutes after this epiphany i called bookguy, a fellow i knew to be a minecrafter (minecraft being one of alex's core interest at the moment), and asked for some advice. then, minutes after getting home from work, i sought alex out and after the usual check on the day i asked him if he could do me a favor. being the helpful man he is he of course said yes and gave me his attention. i asked him if he would teach me how to do minecraft like he does. his late in the day expression brightened more than a little bit.
if a doctor's mandate is to do no harm i think a father's mandate could be 'don't be a dick' because who wants a selfish dick for a father. i wouldn't be surprised to learn twenty years from now that those ten minutes of reflection might be ten of the most important minutes i spent in regard to my boy aleo.
those are four examples where things that happen everyday were re-thought and from those re-contemplations, life got changed. these thinking organs we got are pretty dang impressive. so think. think hard. improvement is everywhere. |
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| FAMILY, SOCIETY |
2013-11-05 |
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for those who know of my practice of not reading news or websites, save a few friends, i have new evidence of how diligent i am to this practice—i just learned two weekends ago that james gandolfini died several months ago. an article i read mentioned his passing. i re-read the sentence three times wondering if there were two james gandolfinis or if i was mis-remembering the name of the recent sopranos star. even at that point i didn't look it up on-line but days later asked a teacher at the boys' school when it occurred to me in a semi-related conversation. after expressing some shock at my ignorance, the teacher confirmed the information. after learning of my news embargo, he offered to let me know if any more celebrities of merit died.
in thinking on that later, i have one friend who sends me funny news stories and another who sends me everything about circumcision. maybe i just need to find a few more genre specific folks to filter through the deluge of news and send me the items they know would be of interest to me. heck, i'd be willing to make an annual steak dinner for anyone who provided such a time-saving service.
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2013-09-13 |
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one last thing to share about last weekend's charity event. the bike ride originated out of columbia missouri, two hours from st. louis and began early in the morning. for these two reasons bella and i drove in friday night so we didn't have to get up at an ungodly hour to arrive early enough to make the start time. after checking into our hotel, we were both spent from the week and in anticipation of tomorrow's effort we turned in at a responsible hour (especially impressive given the working television in the room).
i woke naturally seven minutes before my alarm was to go off (dontcha love it when that happens). seeing bella still asleep, i disabled the alarm and quietly got out of bed. i moved to the bathroom to pee. when done, i headed back to my bed to read for a bit. when i stepped out of the bathroom, bella was no longer in the bed. i scanned the room but she was nowhere to be seen. i looked back at the bed thinking maybe she was lost in the sheets. they were mussed but bella was definitely not hidden beneath the tangle. i stepped forward so i could see between the two beds. not there either. i glanced past the last bed, by the window. no sign. i scanned the full room wholly perplexed. i walked, somewhat briskly, to the bathroom but knowing there was no way she could have gotten by me, i checked all the same. nothing. i pulled the shower curtain back. nothing. i returned to the room, surveying the small space. my mind began sputtering irrational thoughts. i was initially in the bathroom for less than a minute and my sleeping child vanished without a sound or trace. as i stood paralyzed both physically and mentally, i saw a tangle-haired forehead peek over the back of a padded chair in the near corner. seeing me standing in the room, the head quickly ducked back down. when i acknowledged seeing her she raised up and pointed at me saying, "ahhh man, i got you. i totally got you." it would seem i wasn't the only one to wake seven minutes before the alarm clock.
and bella hasn't a clue about the degree in which she got me. just before spotting her, the last thoughts to run through my head were, "holy shit. i think alien abductions are real. and i think i'm about to tell a police dispatcher that i believe my child was just taken by aliens." i wish i was joking but i'm not. i also wish i could verbalize the sheer disarray that simple prank caused in my mind but i'm not able to do that either. it's almost like the experience caused me to pull a mental muscle that i'm still recovering from.
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| FAMILY, LIFE |
2013-05-28 |
the schedule says it all but in case you don't read "schedule" what it says, namely, is that (A) i have fully made the switch to being a morning guy and (B) lots of good things are going to come out of this summer, like the best things ever.
or view the six year evolution...
click to enlarge
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| FAMILY, LIFE, TECHNOLOGY |
2013-05-13 |
Last Tuesday my laptop stopped working. Signs pointed towards hard drive failure. Being a faithful user of the wondrous and reliable Time Machine, I feared not for my data making the situation merely inconvenient. Being the middle of the week I didn't have free cycles to give to the repair so tabled it until the weekend.
I mentioned my downed machine to a friend later in the week. When he proffered the expected 'bummer' I replied it surprisingly wasn't much of a bummer, and it was actually kinda nice. Without a machine to mindlessly, magnetically be drawn to in the evening, I found my time at home sedate, like the most sedate I can recall (caveat disclaimer-an iphone allows me to see I have no pressing email and/or issues (which I never really seem to have, like ever)). Wednesday night after dinner and getting the kids down, I finished a book. Thursday night after dinner and kids I visited a bookstore walking the aisles for over an hour considering candidates for my next read. Friday night we were out but when I came home I was spared the usual draw to my machine to just check on 'the state of the world'. Instead I made ground on the much more personally relevant book I had bought and actually slipped into bed at a sane hour like a sensible human instead of wrecking my weekend, the crown jewel of my week, before it really got underway by starting if off bleary and unrested.
Saturday evening, aleo and I ran out for a replacement drive. Upon returning, aleo, looking at ifixit.com directions, fully completed the repair-- opening my machine, pulling the bad drive, installing the new, and closing up his titanium patient--pretty dang neat to watch. I planned on using my post-kids Saturday evening to restoring my machine from backups. Upon firing it up the machine still struggled. Further inspection makes the culprit look like, not the drive but the drive cable. Another night without a computer, which translated to another night of reading and enviable quantities sleep. In fact, after we discovered it was the cable I told aleo drats and confessed we might need to pull the drive he just installed. He said, "That's alright dad. But maybe we should do it in the morning. We don't want to be tired and crabby on mother's day." Rock star!
The good news is I scored a few more days without my digital crutch, which aside from chatting with you all I find I don't really require much these days outside of work hours. In the same conversation mentioned above with my friend I told him of a local business-owner here, like one of our city's most successful and creative and certainly the modern-day architect of my community, does not and never has had an email account. If you want to do business or interact with this fella you call him or make an appointment for a live conversation. I find myself regularly thinking of this man's choices. My friend put it best when he assessed his chances for such a lifestyle by saying
Technology has become nothing but a tool to me and I'm no longer excited by its offerings and just get annoyed when it doesn't do what it should. But, it is admittedly my only viable skill that I can offer people so I think I'm stuck with it for the moment.
His sentiment pretty accurately describes my boat as well. And let's be clear, I'm not angsty about my situation. Without the technology boom of the late 90's I can't imagine what I'd be doing for a living but I can near guarantee I wouldn't be enjoying it as much as I do. If I've learned anything this week, it is that not only can I manage with less digital minutes in my life, but that my life would be more pleasant and sedate without them (this realization is no kinda good news for my kids as I was already a bit of the amish-style dad on the street). Now if I could just find the strength to break the hold my computer has on me without using a hammer to do so, i'll have more restorative evenings and proper nights of sleep in the time ahead.
note: the astute eye will see the above post uses punctuation. worry not. this does not mark a new and conforming troy. just a troy that doesn't have his usual tools at his disposal and given the temporary nature of his plight doesn't feel like losing minutes with an amazing book he stumbled upon to correct the annoying side effect of an auto-correcting word processor. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, FRIENDS, SPORT |
2013-04-18 |
this year's ski boondoggle had a few remember-worthy facets and given how remember-challenged my mind seems to be getting ( dang checklist!) i thought it prudent to capture the highlights here and now before they fall to the ether.
i've already mentioned the first striking part of the trip is that it restored a lapsed ritual. the situation brought to mind the words of some great writer about the power of ritual. he also supported stepping away from them, rituals, when life demanded but he did so with the solitary caution of making sure you return to the program as soon as humanly possible. done.
usually the weather-personality of a ski trip has some sort of common thread. you're looking at winter-skiing, spring-skiing, freezing north-east skiing, powder-skiing, or something of the like. this year proved one of the most schizophrenic condition-wise weeks i can recall.
the first day was pretty normal spring skiing for colorado which is to say the skies were blue, the sun was out, the morning was solid and you exited the mountain on a bed of grey slush.
the second day saw a storm move in the minute, literally, we arrived to the backside. the lifts were closed due to winds and we were advised to seek shelter until they could see what the storm was likely to do. by the time we worked our way back to the top of the gondola, winds were hitting 90mph and visibility was less than 10 feet for a period of time. within the hour they closed the mountain for the day, largely because of falling trees, and advised us that snow cats were en route to evacuate the staff and skiers still up-mountain. this would be my first mountain evacuation and ride in the back basket of a snow cat. the first time you head downhill and feel your weight press against the metal grating of the cage given the steep pitch is a most unique sensation.
the next day treated us to fresh snow, clear skies, and about twenty degree weather which kept the afternoon slush at bay.
our fourth day began with more fresh snow. then the day saw an additional seven inches dropped on the higher mountain. we were spared the winds but the visibility was quite low (around 10 feet) at times. by this point though we knew the trails well enough to not have to worry about skiing off a cliff or dropping into a mogul-rich, double black diamond. for a number of reasons, i think this last day provided the best skiing. surely the way you want to end a ski week.
another memorable part of this trip dealt with the absence of virtually all people on the mountain given we arrived so late in the season, the mountain proved to be nearly all ours. in fact, when we drove in town sunday night it seemed like we were pulling into a deserted movie set or as if an apocalypse had occurred while we wended through the mountains or that plague-infested zombies cleaned the place of all living flesh and bone. obviously, the upside here is the zero-wait lift lines and the pristine and un-crowded runs.
that last bit leads into the added benefit of the empty runs since i was nursing a severe case of damaged confidence at the start of the week given my separated shoulder i suffered two week earlier at deer valley in park city, utah.
and a surprising first for matt and i, largely due to a banned-mountain, were movies. in all the times we've travelled and spent sitting in mountain lodges i don't think we'd ever taken in a film. this time, we took in several: zero-dark thirty, red dawn (new one), flight, and an espn 30 on 30 documentary about allen iverson. we also tried to watch the tom cruise movie the last samurai but only made it about seven minutes in. |
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