Part 1 of this story is here

The new girl and the question were unexpected, so it took me a moment to realize what she was asking about, but when I did, I had a moment of panic. 

TROY
Oh. That over there? You saw that?

CAR GIRL
Yes. I was driving home from work and saw the two of you on the corner. I couldn’t figure out what was ...

It feels like a minute since I've had the opportunity to share a good story, so let's make the first post-restoration entry about one of the more unusual things to happen to me since being away. 

In 2021, I spent a week in my hometown, Fort Collins, Colorado. Midway through the week, I had to switch to a new Airbnb spot, so I found myself in a new neighborhood. I quickly noticed it was n...

Welcome to the revitalized DeArmitt dot com. Honestly, I cannot recall if this is the third, fourth, or even fifth time the site received an overhaul in its twenty four year existence. While I may not know how many times it has had an adjustment, something I can say with absolute confidence is the versatility of the initial design has been unexpectedly remarkable—doubly so given this is only the second website I ever made. That it has shouldered decades of change on both the technology AND consumption fronts is surprising. Bookpimp's initial feedback after seeing the new design: "I like it. It still has all the DNA but mixed up with some of the chaff removed." Lean with some sheen was the goal. Happy to have landed at least near the mark.

A few things to note: 

• The new Home page includes a Past Post of the Day and a Publication Schedule! I’ve always felt bad about the erratic and uncertain nature of when new things would appear. I don’t ever want to let down people kind enough to support this site, let alone be a weekly letdown. So going forward, I will plan on scheduling updates so you don’t have to play the is-there-content-this-week guessing game. 
• All past content has been tagged, meaning over 2,600 items have been individually read and cataloged. That work was the most grueling part of the renovation, but given the varied content in this collection, it was a meaningful update that needed to happen. In all, that review took four months and happened in eleven states (Chronologically Mo, Ut, Wy, Co, Pa, Nj, Ct, Va, Wv, Ga, Nc). 
• The Site Archives page has been reorganized by era.
• All of the pages have been refined to make their presentation more digestible (e.g., larger fonts, better organization). I’m most pleased with the look of the TroyScripts.
• The What I’m Reading page also saw a significant update. There is still a sizable amount of missing data there. I'm working on backfilling books, reviews, and quotes but did not want that to hold up the site release.
• It is not ready yet, but the second region of the site has been dog-eared for a future site extension called Troy Notes. I’m not sure when that will come online, as it needs a healthy bit of design consideration. 

I hope you enjoy the newly restored site. Since promoting it a few days ago, I have been sleeping better, knowing I no longer have the most dilapidated house on my virtual block. 
dearmitt dot com Home Page
BEFORE July 2024


dearmitt dot com Home Page
AFTER July 2024

Someone recently told me I lied to them. When I asked why they thought that they said I told them I was going to start posting more and then didn't, which made me a liar-face.

Yeah. So. Sorry bout that. She wasn't wrong. But she wasn't entirely right either.

The thing she, and none of you can see, is the fervent work happening on the dearmitt dot com restoration. I'm so excited to unveil it but there is so much work to do to reverse and correct the years of neglect. But please know that this work is underway, obsessively so, and you will soon be sailing down this branch of the internet highway again, with your arm out an open window and you singing, full-throat, to the valley girl soundtrack.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Marty-Thermic

Alex had a movie shoot that would run all night AND be outside when it would be in the thirties. Given his 4% body fat ratio, he doesn’t have a lot of natural insulation. Upon learning this, Marty did a deep dive through our basement storage, looking for things to help. She found them in a blue Rubbermaid tub marked SKI BIN #3. 

After laying her bounty of warm clothes out for him, she proclaimed, that’s how much I love you, Alex. I’m willing to go through all those bins and boxes in the basement so you won't freeze tonight. The rest of the day, we joked with Alex that his mother had a SKI BIN #3 amount of love for him. 

That same day, the neighbors got their thirteen-year-old son a limo to drive him and his friends around during his birthday party. As we all looked out the windows at the kids piling into the glossy black stretch, Alex said, "That's nice but is it a SKI BIN #3 level of love."

I'm thankful the DeArmitt children know it is not.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Personal Question

When I run into people I haven't seen in a bit, they universally ask the same question. That question is not, how are you? How is your business? How is your health? How is your life? The number one question I get is, "How are the kids?". While we're making numbered lists here, the number two question I get is, "How is Marty?". And since the moment I had kids or was married, this has been the case. Even my own mother would inquire about my family before asking about me, so please know I'm not judging anyone. Just another of my observations. The truth is I am in aggreement. I too find Marty and my children more interesting as well.

I say all of that to say that since it has been a minute since we chatted, let's just go ahead and get how the kids are doing business out of the way. By now, you all know I am every bit as boastful and gloating of my children as any father. So to enforce some brevity here, I will just pick one recent thing (and by recent, I'm talking about the last two weeks) to say about my kids.

Anfer was recently inducted into the National Honor Society (for the record, both Baya and Aleo also received this distinction). When this happens, the student is asked to select a teacher to present their NHS certificate to them at the recognition ceremony. Anthony chose his social studies teacher, who also serves as his wrestling coach. As the words reveal, this selection emanated not from the classroom but from an odor-rich gymnamsium. When I first read this, I thought of something I've heard Marty express over the years. It typically surfaces after Bella shares some bit of wisdom she picked up in her travels. After sharing her insight and leaving the room, you will often find Marty muttering to herself, "Oh sure, I've been telling you that for seven years, but MARY (and the person's name is always elongated and exaggerated) says it, and now it is part of your life's gospel." 

So after reading the Lemay-lovefest, I felt a tinge of that Marty-hurt. Then after giving it a bit more thought, I concluded the hardest thing I've ever asked Tony to do is mow our backyard with a manual-push mower that has a gimp wheel. Lemay tells Tony to walk onto a mat with a muscle-ridden, half-dressed opponent and engage in six minutes of what, to my eye, appears to be worse than any six minutes I've ever lived in my life. And Lemay tells him to do this repeatedly. And Tony has done it repeatedly. If anything, I think I may need to write a fawning letter to and about Coach Lemay as well. 

Bella met a young woman at an event recently. They started chatting, Bella implementing her get-to-know-you protocol. After a few minutes, the woman interrupted Bella to say, "Boy, you ask really great questions!". Bella smiled, thanked her, and confessed it is something she works hard to do well.

The woman went on to say she never really gives that compliment to people, at least not many people. She explained that she was a Thought Consultant, which means her entire job is pretty much about asking questions of people and trying to get them to ask better questions of themselves. By my estimation, getting this compliment from this human is akin to Tom Brady saying he likes your throwing motion.

The bad news here is that this is yet another achievement my 23-year-old daughter has beaten me too. When I had kids, I knew it would be emotionally trying. I just didn't expect it to be professionally debilitating as well. And I gotta ask, how the heck do you get this dang title? I once asked my boss if I could be a Technology Evangalist. As I walked away from his laughter, he suggested I start with Technology Comedian and work my up.

A professor asked Alex if he would be his Teaching Assistant for a class in the coming year. Aleo was surprised at the request as he had never had the professor. It turns out that another professor, whom Alex did have, recommended Alex to the man. 

I was only ever asked two things by my university when in college.
1. To ask fewer questions in class.
2. To return my library books on time.

And that is not the end of interest in Alex's skillset. He's already turned the head of a few professionals before even completing his second year of film school. Oh, and Alex also turned 21 last week.

I know of multiple married couples who are starting that empty-nester phase of their life. In a troubling number of cases the prognosis looks bleak. To combat this, many are entering couples therapy to help them in their post-children lives. I see therapy in my future too but it is not the marital/couple type (though Marty may report something different). My therapy is going to focus on repairing my abused self-esteem as I watch my kids and their young successes where I cannot help but compare it to my faltering early years.

Given our trajectories, and their needing us less and less every day and us passing them on that scale where we may one day need them more, I feel compelled to remind them, that I changed their diapers when they were little. Well, ok, so Marty changed their diapers but there were times I didn't leave the room when it happened. That's gotta count for something, no?

For most of their lives my children didn’t know a website existed that chronicled a great number of the things they did and said. Upon learning of it, their...

There's a growing block of people who think I'm a sociopath. How do I know? Because they tell me. Well, they don't tell me, they tell Marty. It typically comes in the form of saying they think something is wrong with me. When Marty asks them why they think that, they say it's because there's no way someone is as happy as Troy appears to be. Marty, with the slightest show of exasperation, will tell ...

This is Aleo's freshman year final project. Not much to say from me other than, wow! My favorite comment overheard from another is, "Who knew how photogenic the DeArmitt/Walter house could be?"

I'm also supposed to say that this is not the final-final version and there is still some fine-tuning and color-correction that is necessary. I'm confident none of us civilians will ever know the ...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Don't do that

The last few years I have spent the month of July tent-camping in Michigan. Parts of the family will join me for much of this but I usually spend a week or two alone. Every morning of this month begins with a 3-4 hour reading and writing session on the beach. As for what I’m reading, each year I choose a different topic to research and I will have a few books on that subject and will spend my mo...

Above is Alex’s second film school assignment—make a two minute silent film.

Since first seeing it, I've had multiple recurring thoughts about this 150 second video:

• I'm struck by the conciseness of the storytelling. I won't say I thougth it an impossible ask but would have surely thought it an unreasonable ask were it put before me. Two minutes? What the heck am I suppposed ...
  View in Gallery >>>

"See you Sunday."

This is what we say to Anthony when he leaves the house. It doesn't matter if the day is Monday or Saturday; this is what is said. The source of this is tied to a single weekend from his sophomore year where Anthony left the house on Saturday morning with no real plans in hand, and we didn't see him again until Sunday evening.

He did a number of things with tho ...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Hello doctor

What's it like having Mrs. Walters as a mom?

All three of our kids attended high school where their mother taught. And not just taught but thankfully served as one of the most popular teachers at the school. Kids love her. They love how she dresses. They love her energy. They love the crazy things she says in class. Last year, a student surreptitiously kept a list of these sayings on the ...

Bella just got her first post-college, big-girl job. It is at the same university I worked for until 2016. It is an idyllic starting professional experience for both her and her employer. For her because she is going to learn a lot about the future industry she intends to occupy, and for them, because they just landed a young woman obsessed with what their group does—event production.

...

It is rare to see Alex look unsettled.

When he was in a middle school robotics competition, if someone was struggling with a challenge, they were allowed to have a teammate step in to help them. In many cases, the person called in was Alex, and when he took the controls from the rattled contestant, he would begin methodically stepping through the problem, the world around seemingly disso...

Bella and Abdi (her multi-year boyfriend) were in Chicago for a long weekend. After parking their car on a congested neighborhood street, they stood back, assessing if their park job was okay given the signs and curb paint. They stopped two guys passing by and told them they were visiting town and asked if they, the guys, thought their parking was alright. The two fellows gave it a thumbs up. Afte ...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. super spanx

I think Anthony...

In 2016, I left my job to start a company. I still vividly remember an exchange with an older guy shortly thereafter.

OLD GUY
Oh. So you started your own company?

TROY
Yeah. I’m a little nervous but more excited.

OLD GUY
Sure. Fun stuff. Being your own boss is great. Want to know the best thing about having your own company?

TROY
Sure. What ...

The Secret Cajun Band (SCB) is a St. Louis ska-band I became obsessed with in the 90s. Marty knew the guitar player from her high school days and asked me to go with her to a small concert they were doing. I said I didn't want to go. She said she didn't want to go alone and asked me to go as a favor. So I went, but under protest. After the first five notes from the first-ever song I heard from the ...

Last year I shared that Bella was graduating college and that she was throwing herself a party and that there would be speeches.

For those who might not have been invited or who were invited but could not attend, above are the speeches that happened at Baya’s self-thrown graduation party.

We all have Aleo to thank for the excelle...