Bella and Abdi (her multi-year boyfriend) were in Chicago for a long weekend. After parking their car on a congested neighborhood street, they stood back, assessing if their park job was okay given the signs and curb paint. They stopped two guys passing by and told them they were visiting town and asked if they, the guys, thought their parking was alright. The two fellows gave it a thumbs up. After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Bella said to the pair, “So, what brings you joy?” Their response was what you’d probably guess it would be, and what it is for many people.

Uhhh. Hmm. Boy. Wow. That’s a tough question. I’m not sure.

And with that, the Bella deep and fast dive is underway. It is her conversational accelerant, and she is a craftsman in its use. And Abdi's insatiable curiosity for nearly all things, makes him an alpha wingman. If there is an interesting conversation to be had, those are the two to mine in.

It is possible Bella inherited this anti-small-talk trait from me, as I am about as competent in small talk as I am in tampon usage. Not certain. Not confident. Not pretty. My version of her joy question is, “What are your interests?" or "What have you been obsessed with in your life?”. However she came to her question and technique, she has arrived and has arrived in high fashion.

A question like that is akin to surprising someone with an unexpected compliment. It is simultaneously disarming and engaging. Of course, there are some that freeze and are unable to recover. That is valuable information though. For those who cannot muster anything, a better litmus test on when to cut bait and move on does not exist.

To my Bella, this is what is bringing me joy at the moment. My daughter asking me to go to the Barbie movie with her and explaining that the right thing to do, even if you are in your fifties and have a wardrobe with fewer than twenty items in it, is to wear something pink. The bright surprise on Bella’s face when I rounded the corner in her mother’s hot pink tank top delivered to me unmitigated joy.

And as an added bonus, here is a pic of me waiting in that box while Bella rounded up a picture taker. My friend bookguy said it looks shockingly realistic, right down to my hand being ready to have a tennis racket or garden trowel shoved into it.