Marty recounted a story from when she was twelve to Tony and I. She went to a lake house with a cousin of hers. While there she and her cousin, who was also a super-cute girl, ran into some boys also visiting the area. One of the boys became very interested in Marty. In the retelling of the story Marty said the boys first and last name, a name she has remembered all of these years given the awkwar...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Spelling-Challenged

Before the start of his senior year, Tony decided he was going to produce a weekly "zine" that would aim to present stories the more conventional channels were missing. If you've never heard of a zine, it is simply a non-commercial magazine that is often homemade. His interest here emanates from a few sentiments, but one is he doesn't feel the school-sanctioned outlets are encouraged to present a ...

Below is one of my favorite book openings. I’m posting it now as it relates, albeit loosely, to Halloween (I know this is a June gallery entry—but it is being posted in October).

There are some who might think a book written about checklists was specifically (and only) written for me, and I was for-sure plenty geeked to put hands on it, but then to have it start with a memorable stor...

For a few reasons, my 5-part essay on aging, which was scheduled to be shared this week, is not finished. Apologies. This doesn’t mean there will be no new content this week, just not the content I originally said there would be. Instead of the essay, this will be just another week of standard posts.

As punishment, let me share this not-too-flattering-for-troy troyscript I’ve been sitting on for awhile now.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. take your best shot

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Haters

For his Fall 2023 semester, Alex took advantage of a study-abroad program and spent the term in the Netherlands. Aside from him letting us know he successfully arrived at his destination, Leiden, we didn’t hear a whole lot from him for the first month. Then he sent an email saying that he had a problem—the university asked him if he would move out of his single room into a shared room so a new ...

I've eaten at Chick-fil-A maybe a dozen times, usually while traveling, which means I typically go to different places. Regardless of what part of the country I'm in, I'm always met with a smile at the counter, served in moments, given food that resembles the picture on the wall, and while I ate, was repeatedly asked if I wanted my sweet tea (!!!) refilled, also with a smile. And that is in the lo...

Anthony starts his senior year of high school this week. For college, presently, it is looking like he might be attending Mizzou to study Journalism. Given this interest Marty, Anfer and I visited the school on their summer visit day. It was a fun day that began at day-break when we had to set out on the two hour drive to the school. We enjoyed seeing the campus and hearing the various schools and...

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Mystery Solved

I added a few of the books I read while at summer camp to What I’m Reading.

Had a nice mix this summer. I’m still wrapping up a few of them which will be added soon. But enjoyed my first two Harlan Coben reads, and the Silent Patient was crazy good. But as for memorable, it would have to be, once again, the work of Morgan Housel. So, so good. In demonstration, here’s a quote I didn’t include on the book overview—as it is I only shared a handful of my marked passages as there were so many.

In the late nineties Marta and I visited Fort Collins, Colorado where I grew up. While in town, I learned that a high school friend was also in visiting her parents. I reached out and she invited Marty and I to join her for a picnic in the foothills her family had planned. After pulling into her driveway and being introduced, her father and I had the following conversation.

BRENT
Wh...

Marta declared it the best summer ever. It was a pretty good one. Noting a few of the highlights for our records. 

Anfer 
Tony attended something called Boys State. It is an eight day experience where a few kids from just about every high school in the state attend. During the week they establish a complete community and government system (I think). Attendees are recommended via teacher referrals so it was a pretty high-caliber collection of young people. Anthony had a lot of fun. What he did not have was a lot of sleep. His first day back, he dropped his bags in the foyer, walked to his bedroom, and slept for fourteen hours. 

Aleo 
Alex was invited to help teach at a weeklong summer program at his university. There were two students from his Film School recommended by faculty. The experience ended up being significantly more challenging than he, or anyone else, expected it to be. Marty and I were both stunned at some some of the situations he found himself in. We were equally surprised by the grace in which he responded to each of them. This poise under duress is an ability he has repeatedly demonstrated in his young life.

Baya 
Bella is working on starting a non-profit (more on that later). While getting things organized, she has been doing a lot of social media work so when she's ready to open the doors, she has a ready group of people to invite inside. The other day, while shopping, someone yelled at her from across a store, “Hey! Yo! Kindness girl!”. She got recognized in the wild! AND she got called Kindness-Girl! It is hard to know which of those two milestones made her beam more.

Marta 
Marty and I took our first trip together without kids since having kids. And it was kinda great. The only bad thing to come of it was when I called my best friend, Bookpimp, to ask if it was ok for Marty to join me on this year’s visit, he replied, “The question is if Marty’s coming, why would we need you?”. In our travels, in addition to doing a record amount of kayaking (in her origami kayak), she did a few new things, namely trail bike riding (through a Michigan forest on dirt pack) and taking up tennis (she has even gotten a coach).

Troy
I’ve been going tent-camping in Michigan every July for the last ten years. Every year, I seemingly go a bit longer. For the last few years, I’ve gone for a month. This year was supposed to be five weeks, but an unexpected Secret Cajun Band concert caused me to delay my departure. When in Michigan I do a good bit of reading, play a lot of tennis, bike a lot of miles, and paddleboard just about every day (that's where I get my baths). Next year I will be adding snorkeling and open water swimming to the list of activities. This year I concluded my Michigan Julys are the summer camps I never got as a kid. I’ve been going to this same place for so long, I now know more people there (other summertime regulars as well as locals) than I do in my home’s neighborhood.

Those are the tippy-top highlights from the Marty-branded best summer ever.

A family friend was in town. Marty has known him since high school. He was here because his mother had taken ill. When he told his mother he had to leave for a bit to visit some friends, she asked who he was seeing. He said, Marty Walter. His mother perked up and said, “Oh, Marty. She’s the one who was dating that very handsome boy, right?” 

After Joe shared his mother’s comment with Marty and me, all three of us standing in the kitchen knew Joe’s reply to his mother was not, “Yeah, she ended up marrying that guy.” We all knew the handsome guy his mother was referring to. In fact, my Marta was on that handsome boy’s arm the night I first met her. And in retelling our origin story, I too might describe him as the handsome boy, so handsome in fact, if given the choice, I might have dated him. 

Fortunately for me, that handsome boy was also not a funny boy. If he could have made Marty laugh and smile as deftly as I could, it might have been a fair fight.

Some Early feedback and giveback received from Baya shortly after the new site went up: I have a feeling more of the learned and inspiring content may be soon coming from my three children, none of which can really be described as children anymore.

Part 1 of this story is here

The new girl and the question were unexpected, so it took me a moment to realize what she was asking about, but when I did, I had a moment of panic. 

TROY
Oh. That over there? You saw that?

CAR GIRL
Yes. I was driving home from work and saw the two of you on the corner. I couldn’t figure out what was ...

It feels like a minute since I've had the opportunity to share a good story, so let's make the first post-restoration entry about one of the more unusual things to happen to me since being away. 

In 2021, I spent a week in my hometown, Fort Collins, Colorado. Midway through the week, I had to switch to a new Airbnb spot, so I found myself in a new neighborhood. I quickly noticed it was n...

Welcome to the revitalized DeArmitt dot com. Honestly, I cannot recall if this is the third, fourth, or even fifth time the site received an overhaul in its twenty four year existence. While I may not know how many times it has had an adjustment, something I can say with absolute confidence is the versatility of the initial design has has been unexpectedly remarkable—doubly so given this is only the second website I ever made. That it has shouldered decades of change on both the technology AND consumption fronts is surprising. Bookpimp's initial feedback after seeing the new design: "I like it. It still has all the DNA but mixed up with some of the chaff removed." Lean with some sheen was the goal. Happy to have landed at least near the mark.

A few things to note: 

• The new Home page includes a Past Post of the Day and a Publication Schedule! I’ve always felt bad about the erratic and uncertain nature of when new things would appear. I don’t ever want to let down people kind enough to support this site, let alone be a weekly letdown. So going forward, I will plan on scheduling updates so you don’t have to play the is-there-content-this-week guessing game. 
• All past content has been tagged, meaning over 2,600 items have been individually read and cataloged. That work was the most grueling part of the renovation, but given the varied content in this collection, it was a meaningful update that needed to happen. In all, that review took four months and happened in eleven states (Chronologically Mo, Ut, Wy, Co, Pa, Nj, Ct, Va, Wv, Ga, Nc). 
• The Site Archives page has been reorganized by era.
• All of the pages have been refined to make their presentation more digestible (e.g., larger fonts, better organization). I’m most pleased with the look of the TroyScripts.
• The What I’m Reading page also saw a significant update. There is still a sizable amount of missing data there. I'm working on backfilling books, reviews, and quotes but did not want that to hold up the site release.
• It is not ready yet, but the second region of the site has been dog-eared for a future site extension called Troy Notes. I’m not sure when that will come online, as it needs a healthy bit of design consideration. 

I hope you enjoy the newly restored site. Since promoting it a few days ago, I have been sleeping better, knowing I no longer have the most dilapidated house on my virtual block. 
dearmitt dot com Home Page
BEFORE July 2024


dearmitt dot com Home Page
AFTER July 2024

Someone recently told me I lied to them. When I asked why they thought that they said I told them I was going to start posting more and then didn't, which made me a liar-face.

Yeah. So. Sorry bout that. She wasn't wrong. But she wasn't entirely right either.

The thing she, and none of you can see, is the fervent work happening on the dearmitt dot com restoration. I'm so excited to unveil it but there is so much work to do to reverse and correct the years of neglect. But please know that this work is underway, obsessively so, and you will soon be sailing down this branch of the internet highway again, with your arm out an open window and you singing, full-throat, to the valley girl soundtrack.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Marty-Thermic

Alex had a movie shoot that would run all night AND be outside when it would be in the thirties. Given his 4% body fat ratio, he doesn’t have a lot of natural insulation. Upon learning this, Marty did a deep dive through our basement storage, looking for things to help. She found them in a blue Rubbermaid tub marked SKI BIN #3. 

After laying her bounty of warm clothes out for him, she proclaimed, that’s how much I love you, Alex. I’m willing to go through all those bins and boxes in the basement so you won't freeze tonight. The rest of the day, we joked with Alex that his mother had a SKI BIN #3 amount of love for him. 

That same day, the neighbors got their thirteen-year-old son a limo to drive him and his friends around during his birthday party. As we all looked out the windows at the kids piling into the glossy black stretch, Alex said, "That's nice but is it a SKI BIN #3 level of love."

I'm thankful the DeArmitt children know it is not.

a new TROYSCRIPT was posted today. Personal Question

When I run into people I haven't seen in a bit, they universally ask the same question. That question is not, how are you? How is your business? How is your health? How is your life? The number one question I get is, "How are the kids?". While we're making numbered lists here, the number two question I get is, "How is Marty?". And since the moment I had kids or was married, this has been the case. Even my own mother would inquire about my family before asking about me, so please know I'm not judging anyone. Just another of my observations. The truth is I am in aggreement. I too find Marty and my children more interesting as well.

I say all of that to say that since it has been a minute since we chatted, let's just go ahead and get how the kids are doing business out of the way. By now, you all know I am every bit as boastful and gloating of my children as any father. So to enforce some brevity here, I will just pick one recent thing (and by recent, I'm talking about the last two weeks) to say about my kids.

Anfer was recently inducted into the National Honor Society (for the record, both Baya and Aleo also received this distinction). When this happens, the student is asked to select a teacher to present their NHS certificate to them at the recognition ceremony. Anthony chose his social studies teacher, who also serves as his wrestling coach. As the words reveal, this selection emanated not from the classroom but from an odor-rich gymnamsium. When I first read this, I thought of something I've heard Marty express over the years. It typically surfaces after Bella shares some bit of wisdom she picked up in her travels. After sharing her insight and leaving the room, you will often find Marty muttering to herself, "Oh sure, I've been telling you that for seven years, but MARY (and the person's name is always elongated and exaggerated) says it, and now it is part of your life's gospel." 

So after reading the Lemay-lovefest, I felt a tinge of that Marty-hurt. Then after giving it a bit more thought, I concluded the hardest thing I've ever asked Tony to do is mow our backyard with a manual-push mower that has a gimp wheel. Lemay tells Tony to walk onto a mat with a muscle-ridden, half-dressed opponent and engage in six minutes of what, to my eye, appears to be worse than any six minutes I've ever lived in my life. And Lemay tells him to do this repeatedly. And Tony has done it repeatedly. If anything, I think I may need to write a fawning letter to and about Coach Lemay as well. 

Bella met a young woman at an event recently. They started chatting, Bella implementing her get-to-know-you protocol. After a few minutes, the woman interrupted Bella to say, "Boy, you ask really great questions!". Bella smiled, thanked her, and confessed it is something she works hard to do well.

The woman went on to say she never really gives that compliment to people, at least not many people. She explained that she was a Thought Consultant, which means her entire job is pretty much about asking questions of people and trying to get them to ask better questions of themselves. By my estimation, getting this compliment from this human is akin to Tom Brady saying he likes your throwing motion.

The bad news here is that this is yet another achievement my 23-year-old daughter has beaten me too. When I had kids, I knew it would be emotionally trying. I just didn't expect it to be professionally debilitating as well. And I gotta ask, how the heck do you get this dang title? I once asked my boss if I could be a Technology Evangalist. As I walked away from his laughter, he suggested I start with Technology Comedian and work my up.

A professor asked Alex if he would be his Teaching Assistant for a class in the coming year. Aleo was surprised at the request as he had never had the professor. It turns out that another professor, whom Alex did have, recommended Alex to the man. 

I was only ever asked two things by my university when in college.
1. To ask fewer questions in class.
2. To return my library books on time.

And that is not the end of interest in Alex's skillset. He's already turned the head of a few professionals before even completing his second year of film school. Oh, and Alex also turned 21 last week.

I know of multiple married couples who are starting that empty-nester phase of their life. In a troubling number of cases the prognosis looks bleak. To combat this, many are entering couples therapy to help them in their post-children lives. I see therapy in my future too but it is not the marital/couple type (though Marty may report something different). My therapy is going to focus on repairing my abused self-esteem as I watch my kids and their young successes where I cannot help but compare it to my faltering early years.

Given our trajectories, and their needing us less and less every day and us passing them on that scale where we may one day need them more, I feel compelled to remind them, that I changed their diapers when they were little. Well, ok, so Marty changed their diapers but there were times I didn't leave the room when it happened. That's gotta count for something, no?

For most of their lives my children didn’t know a website existed that chronicled a great number of the things they did and said. Upon learning of it, their...

There's a growing block of people who think I'm a sociopath. How do I know? Because they tell me. Well, they don't tell me, they tell Marty. It typically comes in the form of saying they think something is wrong with me. When Marty asks them why they think that, they say it's because there's no way someone is as happy as Troy appears to be. Marty, with the slightest show of exasperation, will tell ...