MARY
Hey, is that the new Grisham novel?

TROY
Yeah. I just finished it on the plane.

MARY
Was it good?

TROY
It was alright. Typical Grisham.

MARY
I've been wanting to read it.

TROY
(silence)

MARY
So can i borrow that? I fly out again on Sunday and need something to read.

TROY
Sorry but I don't lend my books.

MARY
What? Why not?

TROY
Terrible boating accident as a child. Since then I just don't lend them.

MARY
No seriously. What do you think I won't give it back?

TROY
No. I know you'll give it back.

MARY
What then? Do you think I'm going to mess up your precious little book?

TROY
It is simply my experience that when I loan a book out it does not come back to me in the same condition as I gave it.

MARY
Geez. If I wrecked the book I'd buy you a new one.

TROY
I'm not interested in a new one. This is the one I read and it is the one I plan to keep. And, I'm not saying that people destroy them, they just come back different than I gave them.

MARY
What? You mean like it would have a bent page?

TROY
Did it have a bent page when I gave it to you?

MARY
Oh my lord. You're a dick.