Anthony. Where to even begin in describing what it's like to exist near a now 16-year-old Anthony Walter DeArmitt.

His life mantra for the past few years has been, "it will probably be ok," and to date, he has been 100% right.

Even though academics might be one of his top skills/gifts, he has applied to a trade school where he will study the construction arts in his last two years of high school.

He loves the public library intensely and believes anyone paying for a streaming service is a full-on rookie. I'm sometimes inclined to debate him on this, but my position has been repeatedly compromised because I go to him anytime I need something that is not available via streaming. There has only been one time he has been unable to secure a title.

When asked about dating, he will say that given a choice between hearing about a bunch of cheerleader drama or reading a book, Kerouac, Malcolm X, and Palahniuk will always win. To this, his mother calmly says, "he's just not there yet." To this, his father says, "I don't know that he ever will be."

Even though he has not entered the dating fray, this is not to say he is not social. In fact, he has recently become the most social of our three children. A good day for him includes going to school, going to wrestling/track/gym, going to some school/friend/social event, coming home for a late dinner, then watching a show with the family (right now, Breaking Bad is our house-jam, Yo!), and then getting to bed by 10:30 so he is ready to rinse and repeat.

Anthony does not have just one friend group but is part of multiple circles. I was a bit like this when young and did not identify with a specific group but knew people in all my school's cohorts–from scholar to stoner, jock to joker, I enjoyed them all–admittedly at a pretty superficial level (the known limitation of this tack). I see this wide-ranging approach in Anfer as it is tough to stand near him without hearing celebrated and elongated calls of "Tony!!!" coming from varied directions and sources.

Yes, Tony. This merits a moment of attention. When our Anthony got to high school, he switched to Tony. For most, this would be a pretty basic change, but it took Marty and me a moment to catch up. Marty, who prefers her hand-selected and more proper Anthony, asked him about it. He said Tony just felt like a better choice for him. He will cite examples of where his class might be sitting outside on a nice day, and the teacher will be interrupted by someone passing nearby (or not so nearby) shouting "TONY!!!" as they pass. And the Tony that gets yelled is not your basic pronunciation you'd see phonetically drawn up by Webster but a more whimsical and celebratory call that would go TOE-NAY where the NAY is held for multiple beats and audibly undulates from the yeller's mouth. Anfer explains that if he went by Anthony, he would not get to enjoy such antics. But Tony, well, those calls happen all the time to a Tony. It appears, once again, he ain't wrong.

Anthony, ahem, Tony has just begun his second year of wrestling. Now instead of being taught the most basic moves, he is one of the people that gets to help introduce the greener guys (e.g., freshmen) to the sport. At the time of this writing, he is 9-0. His progress has generated a good number of heady comments from the team leaders. A senior girl who has repeatedly competed at the state finals gave him a compliment that he later said he would float on until his final days. One of the more cerebral coaches pulled me aside and told me they were all very impressed by Tony's progress and work ethic. More floating. The head coach just shared that he expected Tony to be competing on the varsity squad before the end of his sophomore year. That generated some floating but also a sprinkle of fear from both Anfer and his parents.

A show of his progress could be seen this past weekend when he won a large JV tournament, winning all five of his matches. Last year at the same event, he went 1-2 and did not make it into the playoff rounds. The video above show his last two matches against the other undefeated wrestlers from the early rounds. They offer a nice glimpse into a match that runs all three periods and comes down to who scored more points and a match that ends with a pin. Anfer's celebratory jump after going undefeated might have been the most jubilation I've seen out of him, like ever.

As happy as I was for Anfer that day, my proudest moment came not on the mats but as the event wound down. I watched as Anfer walked the bleachers where his team sat and picked up all the garbage the group produced over the 9-hour event. He even went and got paper towels and mopped up spilled drinks. His teammates watched him do this and lifted their feet so he could get to things beneath them, but none of them, not a single one of them, stopped their conversations to help him. In my mind, the last guy on the team that should be cleaning up after everyone would be an upper classman OR the one guy who won all of his matches that day. Yet there he was, making multiple passes in the area, unaided by his teammates. I asked him about this on the drive home.

TROY
Do you know what made me the proudest of you today?

ANFER (after some thought, given he is bright enough to know it wouldn't be the obvious thing)
That I cleaned up after everyone.

TROY
YES! And that no one helped you. I couldn't believe no one helped you. Doesn't that piss you off?

ANFER
No.

TROY
Really. How does that not make you angry? I wasn't even the one doing it, and it made me angry.

ANFER
It's like Elijah Mohommed says, you don't get someone to change by yelling at them, you just set your clean glass next to their dirty one.

Aside from the few times I have had to travel, I have spent time with Anthony pretty much every day of his existence. One consistent factor is how hard it is to remember that he is his age, whatever year he may be occupying at the moment. Right now he is a few months into his sixteenth year but the conversations and maturity that emanate from him are so beyond what you'd expect from someone his age, it honestly just leaves you boggled.

As is the case with all three of my children (and my wife), I will forever be grateful for the front-row seat I have into their lives. They continue to be infinitely more interesting than any book or movie or even cheerleader drama I have ever come across.