typically one million strong are at the arch on the fourth of july. not this arch, the actual gateway arch which this one is certainly modeled after and resides along the fabled route 66. when i first moved to saint louis, i used to go down to what was then called the vp fair or vale prophet fair. it is now simply called fair saint louis. they renamed it after someone found a picture of the original vale prophet guy in a klansman robe doing weird things to weird things or something of the sort. but, even though it's been re-monikered many people, meaning me, still call it the vp fair.

by my estimation, this event should have been called the st louis sweatathon or gateway b.o. bomb or even the midwest oderfest. you've never seen a more pheromone ridden place in all your life. i mean where was right guard and old spice people when they were settling on a new name. their co-branding marketing team really missed the boat on this one and st louis is all about selling their relics and traditions to the highest bidder. had i been in the post i would have arranged for one of those fire planes to fly over the fair grounds and dump deodorant powder on the whole lot. and trailing behind the plane would be one of those frilly toilet paper banners usually employed to advertise strip clubs and propose marriage to plug my product. it would read "Stink less with Stink Less ... a new product by Mennen." Get it, stink less, stinkless. man am i in the wrong profession or what. that is pure unadulterated and uncut gold.